


Silk, Cotton (and Skin)

by cielmelodies



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Courtesan AU, Edo Period, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time, Improper use of Kimonos, Kimono, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2017-10-21
Packaged: 2019-01-15 15:41:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 22,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12323976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cielmelodies/pseuds/cielmelodies
Summary: Courtesan/Edo AU. A series of snippets.‘If Jun had the chance, if their circumstances were vastly different, Jun wants Sho forever, to hold him close every night and wake up to Sho’s handsome presence every morning.’Chapter 2 and 3 has smut. (A decent amount)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [xdestroying](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xdestroying/gifts).



> Happy happy birthday to xdestroying! :D *confetti and Sho-kisses* This wasn’t what you were expecting, probably. HAH. Lots of love to the Rock (learashi and akhikaru) for helping out with the revisions.:3 
> 
> Terms with an asterisk(*) are explained at the bottom of the fic, and while a great deal of research was put into writing this (Kimono, Oirans, Male-Male relationships in Edo Japan, Architecture), creative license etc aka I took some creative liberties.

~Present~  
  
They know his name. It is whispered in the streets of *Yoshiwara, passing from the ear of nouveau riche townsmen to mistresses of the most powerful houses. Sometimes, they get whispered to ears beyond the walled borders of the district, and his fame spreads.  
  
_Beautiful. Graceful. Handsome. Enchanting._  
  
Matsumoto Jun.  
  
There is no real need for his fame to spread, however; for out of all the things he is renowned for, the most important thing is that he is  _untouchable._  
  
++  
  
“Matsumoto-sama, The Lord Heir of the Sakurai household has sent a messenger with a request for you to serve him tonight.”  
  
A timid apprentice peeks into his dressing room, small hands nervously gripping the shoji panels tightly. Akane is barely in her adolescence, abandoned by her family at a young age in the bordered walls of Yoshiwara – a selfish, if not cruel, life sentence to permanent hardship… or death, had Jun not picked her from the streets and brought her into his teahouse. She is too young to become an actual *oiran, nor will Jun leave her to be preyed upon by the sharks that are the entitled merchants that pass Edo… but she will approach the age soon enough.  
  
Jun hates to remember that he himself had been Akane’s present age, when he was abandoned to the permanent fate of serving others. At that point of time, Jun had been lucky to have earned the attention, and therefore by extension, the protection and guidance of the *Tayu; now that he is the head of the teahouse, he can do the same with other children who suffer the same unfortunate fate as he does... although he hopes that he is doing them a favour, rather than a disservice when he rescues them from the streets.   
  
The fate of an oiran is far less vivid than death, or of brothel work.  
  
Then again, perhaps in Jun’s case, his fate is not too unfortunate. After all, he did earn the attention of a certain man - a powerful man who wants to protect him, and grants him the power to protect others under him.  
  
“Posture, Akane. And do not dig your nails into the wood, you will chip them.” Jun states blandly, concentration still focused on the manuscript in front of him. A nimble hand holds a calligraphy brush between lithe fingers. A pair of subtle eyeglasses is perched on the bridge of his nose, frames made of delicate ivory and lens of heavy quartz – a gift from his  _patron._    
  
She hastily adjusts her kimono and straightens her back, resting her hands neatly on her lap as she bows neatly to Jun’s back. “I apologize, Matsumoto-sama.”  
  
Jun rests his brush on the edge of the inkwell and turns. “Much better, Akane. What were you saying?”  
  
“A messenger, Matsumoto-sama, has arrived at the door. He wishes to relay that the Sakurai-dono has requested for you to serve him tonight.”  
  
Jun fights the urge to roll his eyes because it will be a bad influence for his apprentice, but cannot help the exasperated sigh that passes through his lips. He has been waiting for a while now, but Jun cannot blame his lover for the delay, nor the time between their meetings. After all, Jun has a teahouse to run, and his lover, being the eldest son and heir apparent of a daimyo lord, has much work to do as well. Nevertheless, the man could have sent the messenger earlier in the morning, rather than the current time - close to noon. There is little time for Jun to prepare himself, even though his usual ‘working’ hours are in 7 hours.   
  
Well, working hours is pushing it. There is only one man Jun truly ‘entertains’ after all. Sho is far too possessive, and powerful, for Jun to have any patrons who seek his presence for something far more intimate than his company and conversation. Furthermore, being an oiran of his rank now, he has an expensive fee, and has the right to reject any patrons with lecherous intentions.  
  
“Here?” Jun clarifies, somehow suspecting the answer would be ‘no’ - Sho always prefers Jun in his bed, under his protection. Somehow, Sho always forgets that Jun and his teahouse has the favour of the richest merchants and most powerful officials in their pocket, not just Sho’s and his alone.   
  
“No, Matsumoto-sama. He wishes for you to be at his quarters in the Sakurai house by dinnertime.”   
  
Jun fights the urge to pinch his forehead. What is Sho thinking of now? There is no time for Jun to get ready here then. Before he can ask for more details, a familiar face appears behind Akane, and Jun narrows his eyes, gesturing for Nino to enter. The man is pale and visibly clammy, and Jun decides to cut him some slack. It is, after all, Nino’s master who is causing Jun trouble.   
  
“Akane, could you perhaps fetch Ninomiya-san a cup of ginger tea? I will obtain the details from him directly.”  
  
She bows at the order, and closes the shoji panel before scampering off to the kitchen. With some newfound privacy, Jun tilts his head and chuckles at the miserable sight that is Nino. Resting his elbow on the table, Jun relaxes and asks,  
  
“What did you do this time, to have made Sho make you play messenger?”  
  
Nino groans, falling dramatically onto the tatami floor and curling into an unhappy ball. They have been friends for a long time - Nino has always been Sho’s right-hand man, but often sent to do chores and check on the townspeople alongside Sho more often than the governing lord himself. It is, perhaps then, fate that Jun’s teahouse lies at the borders of land owned by Lord Sakurai.  
  
Of course, Nino is also especially prone to motion-sickness, and it does not help that the most efficient way of going around Edo is by the canals. Sho does have a sadistic streak in him, at times.   
  
“Nothing, I swear.” He whines.   
  
“Sho isn’t that cruel to his compatriots unless they really deserve it, Nino.” Jun picks up his brush and resumes his manuscript - at least, he will try to finish this before he should prepare for Sho. “So, what did you do, really?”  
  
Nino mumbles something unintelligible, and Jun clucks his tongue.   
  
“He might have found me and Oh-chan in the kitchens…” Nino repeats more loudly, and Jun snorts.   
  
“After he hasn’t seen me in over a week? Nino, you know better than to goad him like that.” Jun reprimands lightly. The shoji panels slide open slowly, and Akane timidly offers Nino the cup of tea before politely leaving the room once again.   
  
“Then come by more often.” Nino complains, wrapping his hand around the porcelain cup.  
  
“Shut up and drink your tea. You look green and will scare away my apprentices.” Jun blandly deviates from the topic. “What does Sho want me to do then, given that he has left me no time to get appropriately ready?”  
  
“If he needs you to get ready, you just have to be naked and on his bed, Jun-pon.”   
  
“ _Appropriately_  ready.” Jun reiterates, rolling his eyes.  
  
“He tells me he will ready a boat for you in two hours by the pier next to Ryogoku bridge. A room has been readied for you to do whatever preparation you require, and a kimono dresser from the city will be there to dress you.” Nino says when his colour looks much better, looking at the garden outside with mild disinterest. “I think I'll just wait here and escort you there in 2 hours.”  
  
“You're just afraid of Sho.” Jun looks up thoughtfully. If Sho is going to rush him, then Jun can easily use that against him. “He is providing me a new kimono for tonight then? Because I'm not bringing anything but myself there.”  
  
Nino snorts, and stretches on the tatami flooring. “Please. As if he doesn't spoil you enough, Jun. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to nap until we must go.”  
  
Jun helpfully throws a cushion at his face. Hard.   
  
  
~Past~  
  
“Hey.” A quiet voice pulls Jun out of his misery-filled thoughts, but Jun does not look up, keeping his eyes down, head down. He does not wish for anyone to see his face, not when it is likely to be so ugly, with snot dripping down his nose, eyes wet, face red and blotchy from all the crying. His etiquette instructor has told him he must never let anyone see such a face - that it is unbecoming of a future courtesan to display such raw, intimate emotion to anyone - but Jun cannot help it.   
  
He is 13. Why is he here? Where are his parents? He misses them, and his sister. He wants to go home.   
  
“Hey, I was talking to you, insect.” The boyish voice does not leave him alone, instead far louder as the owner of said voice walks closer. Jun sniffs, and hurriedly wipes his face, but the tears do not stop. Feet with getas on move into his peripheral view, and Jun notes that it is the feet of a young boy - maybe slightly older than him. The feet come closer, then suddenly, a handkerchief is shoved at Jun’s face. “Blow your nose. What’s wrong?”   
  
Jun blinks at the sudden show of kindness; it is the first of which he has received from someone besides Aiba since he was dropped off in front of the teahouse, and the act has a soft whimper escaping his throat, eyes burning even more. The muffled sound he makes must have alerted the boy further, for suddenly a warm arm is draped around his shoulder, rubbing his bicep. “Don’t cry. Is something hurting?”   
  
A hand - larger than his - pries his fingers open to force Jun to take the handkerchief, and a pair of worried eyes peer up at his face, the russet-brown pupils filled with worry as the kind stranger cocks his head sideways to look at Jun.  
  
Jun shakes his head, unable to find the words to answer yet, but he takes the handkerchief and blows his nose.   
  
“You shouldn’t be in this area, you know? It’s not somewhere for a kid like you to be in.” The boy says, and Jun feels like telling him that he is a kid too. Right on cue, he continues, “I’m different. And older than you, I’m sure.”   
  
A giggle bubbles up in Jun’s throat, and it comes out as sob-giggle. “I’m 13.” Jun manages out, hoping that he sounds more indignant and less pathetic.   
  
“Well, that settles it. I’m 14, I’m older.” Jun hears no trace of condescension, and for a tiny moment, he forgets about missing his family. Just a tiny moment. “I’m Sho. What’s your name, insect?”   
  
“I’m Jun… and I’m not an insect.”   
  
“You sure look like one though.” Sho grabs the handkerchief and wipes Jun’s cheek with a dry corner, seemingly unbothered by the snot. “Are you feeling better now?”   
  
Jun nods timidly, and is grateful when Sho doesn’t move from the half hug. Aiba had been offering hugs and comfort too, but they were different - Jun could not explain it.   
  
“Good. Why are you here then? You really shouldn’t be here.”  
  
“I… live here.” He forces the words out, a small finger shakily pointing at the shopfront of the teahouse not too far away. “I just wanted to be alone for a while.”   
  
Sho quietens next to him, and Jun can tell that Sho knows what living in this area, in the teahouse means. He wonders if Sho is disgusted now, but Sho makes no move to run as far away from Jun as possible.   
  
“Well, it’s not very nice to cry alone, don’t you think?” Sho’s tone is light, unperturbed. “It’ll make you feel worse.”  
  
Jun nods slowly, and his eyes brim with tears once again when he remembers what he was crying about. “I just miss my parents. And sister.” He whimpers, burying his face into his hands. “I don’t understand why they left me here. I want to go home.”   
  
The hand on his shoulder goes up to pat his hair, and the handkerchief is pushed into his hand again. Sho doesn’t leave, or tell him to stop crying this time - instead he stays quiet, and Jun knows why.   
  
He doesn’t have a home anymore.  
  
Jun weeps silently for a while - not too long, for he knows it won’t be long before Masaki will come out of the teahouse looking for him. Sho accompanies him the entire time, rubbing his back when Jun begins to settle down, no more tears left to cry.   
  
“Better?” Sho whispers.   
  
“Yes. Thank you.” Jun blows his nose again into the soiled handkerchief. “I’m sorry for dirtying your handkerchief.”   
  
“It’s fine. It is meant to be dirtied after all.” Sho placates. “Go on, wipe your face properly. You don’t want to be seen with such an ugly face now, do you?”   
  
“No… And sensei will be mad if I show up to the lesson looking like this.” Jun mumbles, following Sho’s instructions. He should go back soon as well… although he loathes to do so. There is nothing left for him to do except just…  
  
“Jun.” Sho suddenly speaks, tones hushed as he looks far away in front of them. Jun follows his gaze to where a group of men are exiting a merchant shop, but Jun recognizes the seal of the ruling lord anywhere - a cherry blossom; it was the first thing Masaki taught Jun, telling him how to recognize it, so that if he ever encountered anyone from the Sakurai household, he can treat them properly and stay out of their attention. “I have to go soon, but… you should forget your family.”   
  
The confused sound Jun makes does not stop Sho from continuing. “There is an extremely high chance that you will never see them again, but there is one important thing that you should be grateful for - and only this one thing: is that you ended up in a teahouse, rather than in the streets. Here, you’ll be given an education, shelter, food… you can make good use of your situation.”  
  
“But… what am I supposed to do?” Jun whispers, heart still heavy despite what he recognizes are encouraging words.   
  
“Smile. Don’t let anyone see your tears. If you do, someone can hurt you.”   
  
“*Bocchan—” One of the men calls out in the distance, and Sho stands abruptly, shifting to block Jun’s vision of them with his body… or perhaps the other way around. Jun’s eyes suddenly catch the familiar crest of a cherry blossom sewn onto the back of Sho’s *haori, and words fail him.   
  
“I have to go now. Remember, don’t let them see your tears. I’ll see you around, insect.”  
  
  
~Present~  
  
Within four hours, Jun is escorted into a plain room in Sho’s wing of the Sakurai house. The tatami room is sparsely furnished with only a low-table, a chest, and kimono stand; What catches Jun’s attention is the opulent red silk brocade draped over the stand, the rich colours bleeding into a royal purple. A flock of Japanese cranes flying against a background of cherry blossoms colour the back of the entire kimono, and Jun’s breath catches in his throat, wondering how much Sho must have paid for it.   
  
He lightly caresses the fabric, corner of his lips turning up. Sho always does spoil Jun.  
  
Jun supposes he will have to return the favour properly.   
  
The door panel slides open, and a servant politely bows before setting Jun’s make-up box in the room. “Your belongings, Matsumoto-sama. The dresser will be here in an hour.”   
  
“And Sakurai-dono? What time will he be joining me for dinner?”   
  
“Half past 6, Matsumoto-sama.”  
  
Jun dismisses her with a nod of his head, and waits for the door to close before relaxing fully at the granted privacy. His body is thrumming with anticipation, excited for their meeting - finally. Days like these are precious - it has always been like that since they were young, albeit better now.  
  
Initially, it had been weekly meetings that involved Sho dragging Nino near the teahouse whenever Sho’s father or uncle were doing their rounds around the district. When Sho was older, and finally allowed to patrol the district on his own, the meetings evolved into secret visits in Jun’s shared quarters with Aiba, for it wasn’t proper for courtesan apprentices to be mingling with the heir apparent of the Sakurai household.  
  
Of course, things changed once Jun came to the age of 20 - he remembers that summer with stark clarity, despite it being over a decade ago. The anxiety of becoming a fully-fledged oiran, Aiba’s reassurance at night when he told Jun that he will be fine - that he is under the protection of tea-house, of his rank, and no one will hurt him…  
  
The nervousness stuck to Jun then, especially when he wasn’t confident. He didn’t believe there was a man - nor woman - who would want a lanky boy, inexperienced besides the subtle advices provided by the Tayu (And Aiba), in their bed, no matter how ‘popular’ he had been with the patrons in the teahouse as an apprentice.   
  
Jun shouldn’t have been nervous, not when such a task is included in his job description but… Even if someone wanted him, who was to dictate what would happen, nor how he would be treated behind closed doors. If there is anything Jun learnt in his early years of being an apprentice, it is that there shouldn’t be any expectation that his worth is valued by anyone besides for his physical existence, and exterior beauty. Not his family, and especially not his patrons. It was the unfortunate fate of oiran’s, and no one could convince Jun otherwise.  
  
No one, that is, until he was summoned into the very land he is currently standing in right now.  
  
  
~Past~  
  
“Masaki? Where’s Jun?” Sho frowns as he strolls over to them nonchalantly. Now that he is 21, his father and grandparents send him to visit the town without supervision, for him to forge bonds and rapport with the townspeople. Of course, they likely meant it in a ‘instil fear in them’ way, but Sho preferred to know his future people more than to scare them, and in turn, there is less chance for them to gossip about him or rebel against him, especially when they trust him.   
  
It does not change the fact that it is usually Jun who meets him, instead of Aiba. His forehead is creased in worry, and he hurriedly gestures at Sho to come in. The action is likely to get him in trouble, allowing someone who doesn’t work in the teahouse to enter into the private quarters of the oirans, nor will Sho’s status help any of them, but it’s something that they have been doing since Jun was 15, whenever most of them did not have any classes or previous commitments to uphold.   
  
Sho is certain the Tayu of the teahouse is cognizant of their clandestine rendezvous, but Jun has always been her favourite… Not that her knowledge would have stopped Sho today. The worry written on Aiba’s face, as well as the absence of Jun spurs Sho to enter anyway. It is not like he has any sinister intentions for the other courtesans. There is only one person who has his heart.   
  
“Masaki?” Sho whispers, impatient to know what is going on.   
  
“Shh! In here. Keep your volume down, he’s sleeping.” Aiba slides the door to Jun’s room open, and practically pushes Sho into the room before closing it behind himself. “He told me you were coming today last night, but he’s going to kill me for letting you see him like this.”   
  
Aiba’s words fall into deaf ears as Sho drops to his knees next to Jun’s futon and grabs a clammy hand in his.   
  
“What happened?” Sho hisses, eyes tracing over Jun’s pale, sleeping form in concern. A basin of cold water and towel rests next to his pillow, and Sho instinctively presses the back of his palm against Jun’s cheek. It is not overly hot, but still worryingly warm. “He said he was fine in his last letter.”   
  
Aiba grimaces and takes a seat on the other side of Jun, looking apologetic as he explains, “He’s been extremely anxious about his 20th birthday. You know how it works, Sho-chan. The Tayu has setting up meetings with potential...patrons for his birthday. It’s never easy, but it’s harder on Jun. You know how sensitive he is.”   
  
Sho’s grip on Jun’s hand tightens at the sudden reminder, mouth suddenly bitter at the prospect of Jun being taken by some rich merchant who has no consideration of Jun’s feelings, and only of his beauty. Although it is an inevitable part of being an oiran, Sho dislikes the idea of someone else tarnishing Jun’s preserved ‘innocence’. Jun would have pretended to be okay with the prospect, Sho is sure - Jun would outdo himself, no less, since his perfectionist nature would have prevented him from doing anything but that - but there is little chance that Jun remain unaffected. He’d bottle it up inside and stay quiet.   
  
“And what happened?”   
  
“He collapsed after a meeting with a patron. I heard that the man was insinuating that he’ll be having Jun on his birthday, and that it had not been the first time he told Jun that.” Aiba shook his head, and softly brushed some stray hairs from Jun’s forehead. “Jun should have told someone from the start. It’s not allowed. The man has been banned from the teahouse permanently. The anxiety must have been eating Jun alive.”   
  
If not for the fact that Jun is asleep, Sho will have demanded for the man’s name and had him thrown out of Edo. Instead, Sho breathes through the red flush of anger that slowly fills his vision, and puts Jun’s health first. “Has the doctor seen him yet?”   
  
“He left an hour ago. Jun woke up during the check and fell back asleep after the doctor left.” Aiba bites his lower lip in worry, gazing up at Sho with a troubled look. “He says it's just malnutrition and lack of sleep, but Sho, Jun can’t keep this up. He’s either going to jeopardize his health or he’s never going to become a oiran.”  
  
The prospect of Jun being permanently stuck as a low ranked apprentice is not as bad as him being kicked out of the teahouse - he is too popular for that, but Aiba is right. Such a life is miserable at best, no matter how much protection Sho grants him. Even so, the thought of someone touching Jun…   
  
Protection.   
  
There is only one way for Sho to protect Jun, or at the very least, help him clear this one hurdle that Sho knows is likely the hardest for Jun to overcome. He lifts his eyes to meet Aiba’s worried ones. “I know what to do, I think.”  
  
Right on cue, Jun stirs at their soft whispering, fingers twitching under Sho’s grip as his eyelids flutter open. “M-Masaki?”   
  
“Sho’s here too, Matsujun.” Aiba leans forward to brush his hair aside and rest the cool, damp towel on his forehead. “I’m going to fetch some food from the kitchens, alright? You need to eat. Don’t get up.”  
  
At the mention of Sho, Jun’s eyes sluggishly swing from Aiba to Sho’s, face still white besides the reddish spots high on his cheeks from the mild fever. Sho remains unmoving as Jun frowns, mouth turning down in a small, confused pout, and curls towards Sho, clutching the blanket close to his chest. “I didn't want you to see me like this.”   
  
Sho tsks. “I'm glad I did. You'd never have told me about this in your letters, Jun.” He chides, but his tone is full of worry, rather of annoyance. Or perhaps… both.  
  
Jun’s pout deepens and he shuffles uncomfortably. Sho frowns when Jun’s eyes flutter indecisively, as though unsure of whether to stay awake or not. Sho squeezes Jun's palm gently in his, and rests the cool towel on Jun's warm forehead.   
  
“I... I can deal with it on my own.” Jun huffs weakly, eyes settling in a half-opened state, staring hazily at Sho’s face. “I don't need anyone to protect me.”  
  
“Yet here you are. Clearly alive and well, I see.” Sho deadpans. Despite the flatness of his tone, Sho chooses to lie down next to Jun, atop his futon, to pull Jun close. Close enough to nuzzle against Jun's warm cheek in a sign of close affection, and concern. Sho's words might be sharp, but he means well. Aiba is thankfully not back yet, for Sho isn't ready for anyone to see them like this together. “You weren't eating well and sleeping well, and now this happened. Jun, that's not the meaning of dealing with it on your own. And it's not… it's not something trivial. You could have told someone, confided in Masaki or me. We can help.”  
  
“How?” Jun sounds miserably, posture suddenly full of despair as he tries to hide his face into the pillow, the one visible eye wide open, large… scared. “It's my fate, Sho. I'm meant to 'entertain’. No one can help me from that. And if I can't do it…”  
  
“Don’t say that. I won't let anything happen to you.” Sho snaps, but softens his tone at Jun’s flinch. “Don't worry about your birthday, alright? Just perform as you always do, I promise I'll take care of it.”  
  
“What? Wait, Sho—” Jun pushes the futon away from him slight to sit up slowly, eyes wide with shock. “Don’t do anything stupid.”   
  
“I won’t.” Sho reassures, and sits up, lips curling at the whine Jun makes from the action. They cannot be caught in such a compromising position by anyone else in the teahouse, other than Aiba, and Sho isn’t willing to risk it. Sho’s fingers entwines with Jun’s, squeezing Jun’s hand in what he hopes is comfort, not consolation. “I promised that I will protect you, Jun.”  
  
Jun tugs his hand away from Sho, looking away pointedly. “That was when I was 16, Sho. You can’t protect me from this.” He grumbles angrily, voice high-pitched in sadness, and Sho wishes he can say otherwise… but he cannot. Not yet. There is truth in what Jun says; Sho cannot protect Jun from something as intimate as having his virginity unwillingly taken, no matter how gentle his first official patron is towards him. Or rather, perhaps there is something Sho can do, but he cannot reveal it to Jun just yet. Not so irresponsibly, in such an inappropriate timing where it will only seem like a cruel joke, rather than the sincere confession Sho wants it to be.   
  
And so Sho remains quiet, letting Jun’s dispiritedness fade into the silence of the room as he once again feels Jun’s forehead and clicks his tongue at the heat.   
  
Sho rewets the warm towel as he repeats, “I promised that I will protect you, and I will do so. I’m serious, so don’t be too anxious.” When Jun opens his mouth to rebut, he finds a finger pressed against his lips, Sho looking all too serious. “Make sure you eat and sleep enough. I’ll send Nino here to check with Aiba everyday if I have to.”  
  
“Bossy.” Jun grumbles, and pushes Sho’s finger away from his lips with a tug of Sho’s wrist. He does not let go of the wrist, however, and holds tight to it, not even letting go when Aiba returns with a bowl of keihan rice.   
  
Sho doesn’t comment on it either.   
  
  
~Present~  
  
‘Such a bossy man.’ Jun thinks amusedly, taking out the rouge from his make-up box and lightly applying it along his waterline. There is no reason to delve into the past, not when Jun has Sho now, and their arrangement - and relationship - a happy one. He applies the red safflower pigment along the outer corners of his eyes, as well as his lips, using his handheld mirror to aid him. Jun ignores the white powder that he should be using, but knows that Sho hates.   
  
Just for Sho, Jun breaks oiran traditions. Sho dislikes it, when Jun conceals his skin with the pale white powder that is so popular and a symbol of ‘beauty’; with other patrons, they are necessary to hide the scars left behind by his teenage acne, as well as the numerous 'beauty’ marks - as Sho calls it, that dots Jun's face, neck and visible parts of the body. With Sho… the man may just wipe it away in annoyance from Jun once they are left in private.   
  
Just another testament of Sho's bossiness. The man does mean well, Jun is certain, and Jun cannot deny that being in Sho's company has always made Jun's heart flutter in satisfaction. Only Sho can garner such a response from him, and it’s Jun's pleasure to be the only man to incite a similar response within Sho.   
  
Jun puts the mirror down just as he hears the shoji panels slide open. He straightens his posture, and waits for the dresser to greet him.   
  
Instead, a pair of rough lips meet the curve where Jun's neck meets his shoulder, and a chilling sense of fright runs down his back.  
  
“Sakurai-dono will have your head if you do not detach your lips from my neck immediately.” Jun threatens stiffly, eyes focused on the wall in front of him. There is no reason for him to panic - if anyone from the Sakurai household were to enter the room, the man will be dead faster than he can even plead for merc—  
  
A warm chuckle breathes next to Jun’s ear, and Jun recognizes the voice instantly. He relaxes, and a pair of arms wrap around Jun’s body as a nose nuzzles against his ear affectionately. “I appreciate your loyalty.”  
  
Jun rolls his eyes, tilting his neck in a submissive manner almost instinctively when he feels Sho’s teeth lightly nibble the skin behind his ear. “Loyalty? More like I know how hard it is to get blood off tatami mats.” He responds dryly, internally cursing at his inability to hide his blush from their proximity - or rather, his inability to use a powder to mask his embarrassment. Perhaps that is the motive behind Sho’s actions – to disallow Jun hiding his emotions from Sho.   
  
“I would have had it replaced.” Sho replies seriously, as though stating the obvious. Jun rolls his eyes - again - but leans into Sho’s warm embrace. It has really been too long, but for tonight, as well as tomorrow, Jun can enjoy Sho’s steady presence next to him. Perhaps, Jun may be able to coerce Sho to send a messenger to the teahouse, and inform Aiba to handle matters for one more day. That way, Jun can have Sho for three days, instead of two. Anything to spend more time with Sho.   
  
Sho squeezes Jun tightly, as though aware of his distracted mind. “Do you like the kimono?”  
  
“It’s beautiful.” Jun turns his head to marvel once again, at the cloth draped over the stand. In the evening light, the gold embroidery in the brocade glitters, making Jun just itching to wear it. He swivels and presses a kiss on Sho’s lips - swift but deep - as thanks, then rests his lips just over the corner of Sho’s mouth. “I love it… but it’s not enough to make up for dragging me here at a moment’s notice.”   
  
“Jun…” A dark note of exasperation leaks from Sho, and Jun doesn’t have to look up to know that the man was rolling his eyes.   
  
“That’ll be Matsumoto-sama to you later in dinner, Sakurai-dono.” Jun leans away to tap Sho’s nose with his finger. “Now go away. The dresser will be here soon, and you're not supposed to see me before dinner. You know the rules.”   
  
A corner of Sho's mouth quirks up in a devious smirk, and he does not budge from his spot. Jun narrows his eyes as he reads Sho’s firm, unmoving posture, as well as the shit-faced smirk he shoots Jun when he glances momentarily at the kimono.   
  
“No.” Jun hisses. “You are  _not_  a kimono dresser, Sho. You will  _not_  be dressing me.”   
  
Sho is already beginning to undo the obi of Jun’s travelling kimono, letting it drop to the floor before slowly peeling back the cotton fabric. The kisses he pays to Jun’s revealed shoulder sends heat down Jun’s spine, coiling low in his belly and causing a pink flush to develop slowly across Jun’s cheeks and ears.   
  
“Sho.” Jun intends for the tone to be threatening and stern, but it embarrassingly comes out weak and shaky as warm hands run down the length of his back, caressing Jun’s spine in a manner that can only be appreciative. Sho’s gaze is heated, a stare that tracks the fine planes and dips of Jun’s body, angles softened by the dimming, autumn light. The blatant, intent study of Jun’s body by Sho never fails to stoke the burning coals that is Jun’s adoration for the man. When Sho manhandles him to turn around, Jun cannot find it within himself to defy Sho. Instead, he complains, but without much heat: “Stop it. I’m serious. Someone’s going to see us, and you are not a dresser, Sakurai Sho.”  
  
“No one is going to see us. Have you forgotten who I am?” Moist, hot air is blown into Jun’s ear, and he shivers, as Sho helps him dress in the *hadajuban, followed by a simpler, maroon-coloured *nagajuban. Teasing fingers deliberately run down the length of his arm, down to his wrist, and Jun is tempted to slap them away; such touches are unnecessary, and they also make Jun feel warm. “You know how much I hate the idea of someone else touching you.” Sho adds, to which Jun snorts at. Such typical Sho. “Turn around.”  
  
Jun acquiesces. Perhaps he did so a little bit too easily, in hindsight, as he turns once more to face Sho and lets Sho secure the first underlayer of the kimono with the *datejime. He does not secure it too tightly, unlike other dressers, and Jun fully appreciates it - perhaps Sho has learnt from Jun's frequent complaints of how much his ribs hurt after a long day serving guests in an impossibly tight kimono.   
  
He turns once again, when Sho retrieves the long - extremely long - piece of obi, this one gold and far more decorative and wider than what Jun wore when he arrived at the Sakurai home. “And you know how much I hate the idea of my obi being crooked.” Jun interjects dryly, lifting his arm to let Sho wind the heavy fabric around his waist.   
  
“Does it matter, if it’s going to come off anyway?” Sho chuckles darkly, and when the time comes to tighten the obi, Sho does so powerfully, tightening it in a sharp tug. Jun’s breath leaves in a huff, and he looks back long enough to glare at the smirking Sho. Jun pretends that the domineering action doesn’t leave his heart racing and unfortunately, his cock aching as well.  _The cheat_  - Sho knows exactly what he is doing.  
  
Thankfully, Sho isn’t cruel enough to leave the obi tied in such a tight fashion - perhaps he knows that if he does, Jun will likely glare at him all evening.   
  
There is an irrational sense of delight and pleasure, although Jun would never admit it to Sho, knowing that it is Sho who is dressing him in such opulence, a gift and symbol of his adoration of Jun. Nino is right - Sho does spoil him so very often. And despite Jun’s displayed annoyance, his heart does flutter at Sho’s act of dressing him, of possessive touches and passionate reverence. It certainly beats the impersonal touch of a stranger… Even if Sho’s obi-tying skills leave much to be desired.   
  
That doesn’t mean that Jun can’t play with Sho a little bit more. “Crooked obi, though. What will your men think of me?”  
  
“They aren’t even supposed to look at you, Jun. You know that.” Sho’s low baritone growls in Jun’s ear. “You are  _mine_. Take off your *fundoshi. And keep it off for the rest of dinner.”   
  
_That sly…_  Jun swallows the thick emotion that settles conspicuously in his throat, feeling his face flush even further. No wonder Sho wanted to be the one to dress him. Jun slips his hand across the two layers of kimono, but falters at his hips, where the light cotton cloth is twisted together. A subtle kiss on his bare nape encourages Jun to proceed.   
  
The length of cotton drops onto the rest of Jun’s travelling kimono. Jun is only grateful that if the two layers of kimono do not hide his obvious erection, then the *uchikake, being as heavy as it is, will be able to conceal it perfectly. Knowing that he is utterly bare beneath this elaborate costume makes him, unfortunately, harder than he already is. Sho’s teasing lick - greedy and territorial as it covers a stripe across Jun’s carotid generates a soft moan, just restrained enough for the sound to echo in the silent room, but not leak into the hallways.   
  
The heavy silk hangs loosely on his shoulders as Sho arranges it. However, Jun isn’t dumb, and the moment Sho leaves the room, Jun will have to take it off to let the dresser do his proper job of fixing his obi. It does not matter what Sho says: there is no way he’d accept such a poorly tied obi, even if it would be covered by the uchikake most of the evening.  
  
“Bossy. I’m the one who is supposed to be bossing you around, Sho. Have you forgotten who  _I_  am?” Jun flips Sho’s previous question, glancing backwards to flutter his long eyelashes teasingly, and lightly nibbling his bottom lip. He is pleased to see how dark Sho’s eyes are, pupils blown wide and swirling in moderated lust.  
  
Jun expects Sho to ravage him after his challenge of authority. That is the usual consequence of talking back at Sho like this: Sho grabbing him by his jaw and pressing their mouths together, kisses hard and dirty, a sure-fire way to mess up Jun’s kimono and make-up, and stain Sho’s own lips with safflower red. Furtive hands slipping under kimonos to steal soft caresses and pinching erect nipples…  
  
But surprisingly, nothing happens, to Jun’s disappointment. Sho merely leans forward to press a chaste kiss next to Jun’s mouth, careful to avoid the pigment.   
  
“Very well, Matsumoto- _sama._ ” The gentle lilt in Sho’s voice holds a promise that stirs anticipation in Jun’s gut - no matter how benign it sounds, Jun is into an  _interesting_  night. He only hopes that Sho would keep the teasing to a minimal. “I’ll see you tonight… and can I just say, you look beautiful this evening.”   
  
Sho excuses himself, but not until he surreptitiously slides a hand between their bodies to press against Jun’s hardness, chuckling at Jun’s choked moan.   
  
Jun sloppily drapes the uchikake on the stand barely a minute after Sho leaves, suddenly feeling too hot underneath all the layers. He could kill the man, Jun thinks, as he breathes deeply and tries to settle his aroused body.   
  
He only has 5 mere minutes to drag his attention away from Sho and compose himself when the shoji panels slide open to reveal the real kimono dresser, appearing unsurprised at Jun’s already half-dressed state. Of course, the dresser’s nonchalance is likely out of practice and professionalism… Jun hopes. He can never know when Sho is involved.   
  
The old man bows neatly at Jun. “Matsumoto-sama. Good evening.”  
  
“Good evening, Sensei.”   
  
And he suddenly takes a good look at Jun’s obi, and tuts disapprovingly. “Your obi is so crooked! What on earth!”   
  
Jun snorts in an inelegant manner - just this once - and dryly replies, “My previous visitor was incompetent, unfortunately.”  
  
  
~Past~  
  
Jun does what Sho says. When he recovers, he returns to work, and is grateful that he is only met with concern and gentle smiles. Jun never sees or hears of that horrible man ever again, and no one mentions him. Nevertheless, his 20th birthday looms closer, and the heavy anxiety weighing down on Jun does not let up. He does not let it affect his health anymore – Sho would slaughter him, and so he gobbles up food and water despite everything tasting bland in his mouth, and he only forces himself to sleep by taking up more customers and volunteering to help the younger apprentices with their chores.  
  
He outperforms himself, of course, but that means he can sleep, he can eat, and his popularity naturally skyrockets being so close to his coming-of-age. It is what Sho requested of him - to do what he always does, but Sho never specified how he should do it, so this is how Jun will satisfy Sho’s requirement. What Sho doesn’t know won’t hurt Jun, after all.   
  
A letter comes from Sho just 4 days before Jun’s birthday, and Jun hides the smile the contents of the letter brings to his face. It’s a letter full of veiled concern and pride, hidden under the pretence of annoyance and admonishment for not resting. Sho signs off with a ‘Yours, SS’, and Jun’s cheeks warm at the words.  
  
_‘Yours’..._  
  
When did their dynamics change, Jun isn’t sure. Sho has always been protective of him, albeit in a slightly domineering way that Jun associates as a by-product of being the heir of the ruling lord. It is amusing, for Sho is never that way with anyone besides his friends - always the picture of charming and chivalry with strangers, but with Jun and the others, there is a rawness that Sho exhibits. Jun isn’t sure when his admiration of Sho turned into something… more, but perhaps the change happened when he was 16, and Sho 18. The teahouse had been taken under siege by an insane, raving madman - a patron of one of the oirans - who was spouting about the power of the imperial house, about how a sacrifice to *Amaterasu will help bring down the *bakufu while waving a katana in mid-air.   
  
Unfortunately for the man, the teahouse has always had an ‘esteemed’ demography when it comes to patrons, and he did not last long. Within the hour, the man was captured, and teahouse freed from his deranged possession with only one casualty: the oiran who had served him prior.   
  
Still in a shocked daze from the whole debacle, it was only Sho’s sudden hug that pulled Jun into reality, worried eyes checking for injuries. Jun merely clung onto Sho, body shaking as Sho stroked his hair and whispered reassuring words into his ear.  
  
“I was so worried something had happened to you. I’m never going to let anyone hurt you.”   
  
Jun smiles to himself at the memory. Sho always does say such funny things. Like protecting Jun from his 20th birthday. No one can stop time, Jun thinks bitterly as he closes the letter, caressing the wax seal that bears the imprint of the Sakurai family.   
  
“Jun.” The shoji panel slides open to reveal Aiba, still clad in the deep green kimono that is always so popular with his patrons. His face is still covered in the thick makeup that is his signature oiran style, red and green pigment dusted on his eyelid and outer corners of his eyes, rather than the typical red. In contrast, Jun is already preparing for bed, dressed in his light yukata, dark shadows beneath his eyes from fatigue. Bright glee colours Aiba’s face, albeit distorted from the face powder and safflower. “The Tayu has summoned you to her quarters. It’s about your birthday.”   
  
Nausea coils up in Jun’s throat, and he slides the letter beneath his pillow. Why does Aiba look so happy? Jun wonders bitterly. His revulsion must have been visible on his face, for Aiba shuffles into the room and drops onto Jun’s bed, the heavy kimono fabric unfurling messily across the tatami flooring. It is a disrespectful way to treat such an expensive fabric, but Aiba does not seem to care, grabbing Jun’s trembling hands in his. Aiba’s hands are beautiful - elegant, with delicate fingers, but they are not Sho’s.  
  
“Jun, you do not have to worry at all. He - Your patron will take good care of you. You have the best possible option for your first patron as an official oiran. I swear it, Jun.” Aiba rushes, squeezing Jun’s fingers reassuringly, eyes warm with understanding. “Go. She is waiting for you.” 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things take a smutty turn from this chapter on. LOL. (And it won't abate, the smut that is. Sorry.)

~Present~  
  
It is Ohno that fetches Jun when dinner is ready (or rather, Jun suspects, when Sho is ready - that man is busy all the time). The always-sleepy looking chef is clad in his white uniform, a navy-coloured hand cloth tucked between the white obi and his kimono, and colourful food stains dot his clothes.   
  
“Satoshi.” Jun greets, smile soft. They are familiar with each other, just like how Ohno knows Sho, Nino, and Aiba. In Ohno’s case, he was Aiba’s friend first, the son of an esteemed sushi restaurant owner a few blocks away from the teahouse. He was the third friend Jun met, a quiet but kind person who didn’t pry into Jun’s history, and always brought yaki-onigiri to their little meetings and gatherings. Now, he works in the kitchens of the daimyo’s home.   
  
“Matsumoto-sama.” Ohno bows, but the formality is a pretence. Ohno is older than Jun after all, and has always been more like an older brother. “Sakurai-dono is waiting for you in his quarters.”  
  
“His quarters?” Jun quirks a corner of his mouth, tone amused, but makes no effort to follow Ohno just yet. He  _can_  punish Sho a little for teasing him this way.   
  
“I do believe he has informed the servants to leave the two of you alone for the rest of the night.” Ohno’s voice is neutral, but has a slight impatience that makes Jun smile even wider. Sho must have been impatient, but it  _is_  his fault for riling both up with his whole kimono dresser ‘role-play’ of sorts. Jun waves his hand to Ohno to lead the way (despite being very familiar with Sho’s place already - how long has he been coming here? So very long).  
  
The servants that exit Sho’s quarters while carrying lacquer trays do not show any surprise, nor malice towards Jun’s presence. Instead, they greet Jun with a small smile and bow, one that he returns with his own, as well as a polite nod. There has never been any reason for Jun to treat them any differently as he would treat a stranger or acquaintance. They are, after all, the same, in which their life’s work is similar, no matter how different their titles are. They, Jun included, live to serve.   
  
It is only luck that determines if one enjoys where they are at, what do they live for. For Jun, coming this far is a result of a stroke of bad luck, and then multiple occurrences of good luck. The best thing that has ever happened to Jun, of course, waits for him behind the door.  
  
Ohno silently gestures for Jun to step in, before softly excusing himself and leaving the hallway devoid of servants, quiet.   
  
“Come in already, will you?” Sho’s impatient baritone calls through the thin bamboo doors. Forgoing any sense of propriety, Jun slides the door open, glaring at Sho flatly as he enters the spacious antechamber. Sho looks devastating as always, as he stands near the terrace, terrace doors wide open to let the cool autumn air into the room. The remnants of the evening light highlights Sho’s strong jaw and dark eyes, back held straight but relaxed as he gazes at Jun intensely. Despite having seen the man barely an hour ago, Jun feels a great yearning stirring within him, body naturally gravitating towards where Sho is, while ignoring the dinner that has been prepared nearby.   
  
“Impatient man. Are you hungry?” Jun says cheekily as he walks right into Sho's open arms, sinking into the warm hug with a sigh. Sho's hands curl around the heavy fabric Jun is wearing, nose pressing into Jun's hair and inhaling deeply.   
  
“Starving.” Sho murmurs into his hair, and Sho’s embrace tightens momentarily as his voice lowers a hitch, “for you.”  
  
Jun lets out a laugh, muffling it into Sho's shoulder. He had missed Sho badly, even if it had only been only slightly more than a week ago when they had shared a bed and company. Some days, Jun dreams of another lifetime when they can be together more frequently, where Jun can have Sho in a far more permanent manner than what they share now. But he knows not to be ungrateful - with all the circumstances and possible ways for life to have gone, Jun prefers this one, one which has Sho in it, and all the friends he has met through the years.   
  
“But I saw soba, and I'm hungry for that more than I am for you.” Jun whispers in a teasing tone. “Come on, I bet you were too busy to eat a proper lunch this afternoon. Let's have dinner first.”  
  
Sho gives in, although he grumbles as he reluctantly releases Jun. “I told Satoshi to prepare soba for you tonight. I thought you might enjoy it.”   
  
Jun’s heart swells in his chest - he supposes he can forgive Sho then, just this once. “You spoil me.” Jun says with a large smile as he pours the sake into Sho’s cup; the bottle is from a well-known brewery in Niigata, and the mild smell of sweet rice wafts between them as Sho takes the bottle to pour for Jun instead. Their behaviour has been honed from a decade of companionship, the dinner comforting, rather than a professional, easy persona Jun puts up for his clients.   
  
There was once upon a time where Jun was shy, requiring Sho’s kind cajoling to loosen up in private. The shyness did not last long, but there was a short period of time after when Jun became too ‘professional’ for Sho’s liking (Sho fixed that easily, and Jun was sore all week after - in a good way). It took them barely over a year to settle into their habits and relationship, although admittedly, things went about more smoothly once Jun was appointed as the Tayu and head of the teahouse, and Sho taking over more important matters regarding the running of the district.   
  
“I like spoiling you.” Sho replies simply, before raising his chopsticks and digging into his own bowl of hot soba. His voice is neutral, but his eyes are warm when he raises them to look at Jun, mouth full. “Go on - eat.” Sho gestures with his chopsticks, words slightly incoherent around his filled cheeks.   
  
Jun raises his own chopsticks, but pauses to watch Sho moan when he takes a bite of the chicken tempura. Nothing fascinates Jun more than watching his lover eat, although he wishes once, that he can be the one to cook for Sho instead - perhaps he can strike an arrangement with Ohno in winter, for Sho’s birthday. The thought distracts him momentarily, until a golden-brown croquette, bread crumbs falling onto Jun’s soba, is waved in front of him, offered in a wrapping of parchment.   
  
“You are so distracted this evening. Are you not hungry?” Sho pushes the croquette insistently towards Jun, eyes dark with concern. “Are you feeling unwell?”   
  
“I’m just nostalgic tonight.” Jun grabs the croquette - it is still warm in his hands, and he hums as he takes a bite into the hot creamy filling. Blue crab is not as exclusive as the snow crab in terms of harvesting season, but nevertheless rare, even in the capital city. “You should give Satoshi a raise for outdoing himself with tonight’s dinner. Is everything here a favourite of mine? The soba, the croquette… is that anago miso soup?” Jun excitedly lifts the lip of the soup bowl.   
  
“ _Satoshi?_  What about the man who told him to prepare them for you?” Sho sounds offended, lips curling in the small unhappy pout that always never fails to amuse Jun with its cuteness. “Don’t  _I_  get anything?”   
  
Jun simply shoots him a lustful smile, jostling his kimono just a bit to allow for more of his collarbones to be revealed to Sho. The small, almost innocuous action is enough to imply Jun’s message. Sho’s gift is Jun, of course - Sho doesn’t need an invitation to take Jun and do whatever he wishes to him. Sho silences instantly, pout vanishing as he resumes eating, albeit at a slightly faster pace, clearly eager.   
  
“Don’t eat too fast, Sakurai-dono. You wouldn’t want to get winded.” Jun comments loftily, eating his meal at a more leisurely pace, and hiding his smile when Sho pauses to narrow his eyes at Jun. “Tell me about your week. I’ve missed you.”  
  
  
~Past~  
  
Aiba is the one assisting him today. Jun is the one to put on the pale powder on his face, neck and shoulders, as well as draw the signature makeup of an oiran on his own - but Aiba is there once he is done, pulling up his hair into a neat bun and arranging it daintily, with delicate black-gold *kanzashis holding it together. Jun had been growing his hair out for this day - it is now to just past his shoulder length, especially after he asked Sho if he would look good with long hair, and the man replied that he would look beautiful with any hair-type or arrangement.   
  
Jun is nervous, but no longer for the same reasons that had been plaguing him for weeks. The butterflies in his stomach are from anticipation and excitement, but he dares not breathe a word about it. If he opens his mouth, he is sure he has no words, even after 7 years of education.   
  
He is dressed by a different person today - he has always met tailors and dressers that were women, but today it is different. The dresser is a stoic looking man, likely in his fifties with his greying hairs as he dresses Jun in a swift, professional manner, eyes scrutinizing his body for any stray fabric that should not show, or rather, should show, but not that much nor little. There are little words of exchange between them: another difference when Jun was a mere apprentice, versus now, when he is an actual oiran. The force he uses to pull the obi has Jun inhaling sharply, a discomfort he should have been used to… except for the fact that the female dressers always sympathized with the use of such restrictive obis.   
  
The discomfort is temporary. He will be relieved of it in a mere few hours. Someone will help him to do, will undress him, and Jun will share his night with a man.   
  
Jun is no longer afraid.   
  
“Are you ready?” Aiba asks softly as he holds the geta in place while Jun slides his feet into them. Jun will be escorted by a trusted man of his patron, and then escorted back to the teahouse two days later, upon the patron’s request. The man had struck a deal with the Tayu and paid a hefty fee for the arrangement, and Jun will serve.   
  
Jun nods softly, but does not smile. “Thank you, Masaki.” He whispers, tightening his fingers around the small cotton bag containing the most basic of his ‘toiletries’ - that is to say, simply his make-up, for when he has to return to the teahouse. The rest of his necessities will be provided to him at the home of the man he is to serve tonight.   
  
“He will take care of you, Jun. He’s always loved you.” Aiba whispers, just for Jun to hear.   
  
And Jun’s always loved him.   
  
A familiar, short man waits for him by the entrance of the teahouse, face a little green, but serious as he bows to Jun. Jun ducks his head slightly in response, and keeps his chin up, posture straight. From here until the room of his patron, Jun must have pride in his work, in what he is. The act begins now.   
  
“Matsumoto-sama.”   
  
“Ninomiya-san. Thank you for escorting me today.” Jun says softly as Nino points in the direction of the river, and begins walking to walk. Jun follows exactly half a step behind, and he is grateful that Nino does not walk too briskly.   
  
“It is what Sakurai-dono wishes, Matsumoto-sama. For you to be safe.”   
  
“I will extend my gratefulness to him later.” When they pass a quiet spot of town, Jun softly informs Nino, “You look a bit green.”  
  
“That’s because Sho had the audacity to send  _me!_  I don’t understand why he didn’t send Oguri or Toma. Goodness knows that they would be able to protect you just as well as I do.” Nino hisses, irritation blooming across his face while he glares at the road in front of them.   
  
“Did you get caught in the kitchens again?” Jun whispers conspiratorially.   
  
“I was on my break!” Nino’s tone rises slightly in a whine, and Jun fights the urge to laugh. He cannot do so, not when he is supposed to be working. “I hate boats. He knows that. Sadist.”   
  
“He has never been that sadistic to me. Bossy, at times, maybe.”   
  
The dry look Nino gives Jun has him cracking a tiny smile. “Of course not. He’s prefers to spoil you, goodness knows why. Is it because you’re the youngest? We’ve always wondered.” The reply makes Jun’s heart flutter uncomfortably in his chest, cheeks warming. Thank goodness for the powder, or his blush may have been visible.   
  
  
~Present~  
  
The room is cold now, even under the numerous layers of fabric that is Jun’s kimono. The cold has come early this year, Jun thinks to himself as he closes the terrace doors. He pretends to ignore where Sho has disappeared to, waiting. Sho would naturally forget to do such a menial thing as closing the terrace doors before going to bed.   
  
“Jun.” Sho’s low voice beckons him into the bedroom, “come to bed. I want to hold you.”   
  
The futon prepared in the Sho’s smaller room is something Jun is intimately familiar with. The sheets are soft, and during Jun’s visits, the bed is never made up - Sho allows him to sleep in all day, only waking him with fond caresses and whispers of desires between his duties. Jun finds it amusing - but loves it - that whenever he is with Sho, it is almost as though Jun is shirking his duties, even though it is his duty to serve Sho, and please Sho. Sho does not restrict him from doing anything else if Jun wishes too, but only under the request that Jun is available when Sho is free (or rather, hiding from his work - Sho calls it ‘taking a break’, Jun believes otherwise).   
  
“You’ll have to undress me first.” Jun slips into the room, slipping off the heavy uchikake and throwing it onto the futon. Somehow, he knows that Sho bought that brocade for a specific reason. “I doubt you’d like me in the sheets in any way besides naked.”   
  
Sho suddenly embraces Jun from behind, muscled arms wrapping around his front as he breathes hot air into Jun’s ear. “No, I don’t.” His long fingers begin to deftly tug the obi loose, undoing the ribbon in a single move. Jun exhales in relief when the tightness around his waist disappears, a hand reaching up and behind him to touch Sho’s silky hair in thanks.   
  
“So, I heard you caught Nino in the kitchens today.” Jun starts, breath hitching when the datejime drops to the floor and a hot hand slips between the nagajuban to wrap around his limp cock. The fingers tighten teasingly around the organ, blood instantly rushing down as Jun warms. Not willing to let Sho get the satisfaction of making Jun speechless, Jun keeps his voice neutral and unwavering as he continues, “You shouldn’t be so cruel to him. He was so green when he arrived at my teahouse, and scared my apprentices.”  
  
“You know, for someone who has a hand wrapped around his cock,” Sho tightens his grip further, and Jun’s knees buck just ever so slightly. “You seem relatively at ease, talking about another man. One would think that you’re just begging to be punished, Jun.”   
  
Jun moans softly - purposefully, because he knows that the sound would drive Sho insane, and the heavy breathing next to his ear tells him that he is right. Jun is disappointed when Sho reluctantly removes his hands from beneath Jun’s kimono, but he does not stay disappointed for too long - the remaining clothing is almost roughly pulled away from him, and Jun is pushed onto the futon. Instead of cotton, his back meets the silken smoothness of his uchikake, and instantly, he spreads his legs in invitation for Sho to come closer.   
  
But Sho doesn’t come closer. Instead, his eyes darken, predatorial as Jun shifts against the red-purple fabric. Realizing his position, Jun smirks, adjusting his position to something more flattering and inviting, widening his legs, arching his back to reveal his long neck. He wonders what he looks like to Sho, if Sho looks at him like that, eyes so black, full of want as Sho tracks all the lines and curves of Jun’s body. The reverence Sho grants him always makes Jun feel loved, adored.   
  
In Jun’s line of work, feeling  _important_  to a specific person is difficult. To most patrons, oirans are companions, something they adore, but only as an object rather than a human being. They are after all, simply high-end ‘servants’, paid to keep the company of lonely men or women who wish to be entertained. But then there is Sho, who treasures him as a human and is so fiercely protective of Jun that he blushes at the thought; A man of nobility who is so kind yet so possessive simultaneously.   
  
“Sho?” Jun queries softly, arousal aching and hard between his legs. Sho rarely takes that long to begin ravaging Jun, not since their first night together. “Won’t you come closer?” Sho opens his mouth to say something, but Jun adds, “Weren’t you going to punish me?”   
  
The level of ferocity as Sho drops to his knees between Jun’s legs and begins to kiss him passionately has Jun moaning in lust, Sho forcing his tongue into Jun’s parting mouth and twirling his tongue with Jun’s. There is no fight for dominance in such a kiss, merely Sho exercising his power over Jun, tongue sweeping over and under Jun’s teeth as Jun whines, fingers clumsily trying to undo Sho’s thinner obi. When it finally loosens, Jun flings it aside and slides his hands underneath the fabric to claw at Sho’s shoulders, tiny mewls leaving his lips as Sho sucks the beauty mark behind Jun’s ear, then at the one on his neck. The action is not rough - Sho laves his tongue over pockmarked skin between gentle kisses, yet Jun feels himself struggling to catch his breath at the action.   
  
Despite the worship, Jun cannot help but feel impatient - he yearns to have Sho closer, even closer, and he is certain that he is not alone regarding that feeling: Sho’s own arousal, hot and heavy, is pressing against Jun’s thigh. Wrapping his legs around Sho’s waist, Jun bucks his hips upwards to grind against Sho’s body, whining in impatience. “Sho, h-hurry up. I want you.”   
  
Sho roughly nips at Jun’s lips at the response, fingers weaving into Jun’s soft hair and tugging. “You aren’t in the position to make demands, Jun.”   
  
Jun merely flashes his eyes at Sho, hot and demanding despite his wordless gasps, rolling hips telling Sho what he wants and that he wants it  _now._  Sho reads his demands easily, used to Jun’s body giving Sho all his cues, and grabs Jun’s right thigh, squeezing the thick muscle teasingly as he hitches it even higher up Sho’s waist. The action makes Jun’s entrance more accessible to Sho’s teasing fingers, a light testing pressure against Jun’s rim making Jun shudder and throw his head back.   
  
“Spoiled.” Sho murmurs into Jun’s neck, groaning softly when Jun’s fingers dig into his back in retaliation.   
  
“You’re the one who spoils me.” Jun bites back, skin flushed and sticky with sweat. A tiny part of him is reminded that it’ll be such a waste if the uchikake beneath him becomes dirty with sweat and potentially come, but Sho doesn’t seem to care, releasing Jun momentarily to retrieve the small vial of oil from the head of the futon and slicking his fingers thoroughly. Sho’s eyes do not leave Jun’s body, even as he spreads and warms the oil between his fingers.   
  
When he looms over Jun’s body once more, Sho hefts up Jun’s thigh back up to his waist, uncaring of the slippery smears it leaves on Jun’s legs.  
  
“You’re going to make a mess.” Jun gasps, back arching as Sho circles his rim with the lubricated fingers and presses at the opening with his thumb teasingly. “The silk is hard to clean.” He reminds, but the words end with a long moan as Sho presses his index finger deep into Jun, catching him off-guard and stealing his breath at the slow, smooth action.   
  
“I’ll just send it off to be cleaned.” Sho comments nonchalantly as he mouths Jun's shoulder, growling lowly when Jun digs his nail hard into Sho's back. “You look so beautiful lying on the silk. Red and purple is such a wonderful colour on you.” Sho praises, slowly fucking Jun with his finger, free hand caressing Jun's cheek with great reverence. “Especially when you're so flushed like this.”  
  
“Stop talking and give me more.” Jun whines, face delightfully red and flushed at the praise. As though elaborating on his point, Jun tightens his leg around Sho's waist to force Sho’s finger deeper. “I want more.”  
  
“Insatiable.” Sho growls, but acquiesces, roughly inserting another finger within Jun and rapidly plunging it into Jun's tight heat. Jun’s cries of pleasure are swallowed by Sho as their lips and teeth clash feverishly, and Jun feels utterly possessed. Possessed, dominated, and powerless as Sho finds that one spot in Jun that has him writhing and whining, cock leaking between their bodies and smearing across his abdomen. “So hot for me.” Sho growls between tongue and teeth, and without asking, Jun feels the sharp stretch as Sho inserts three fingers into him, twisting the fingers and opening Jun up further, preparing Jun for him.   
  
Tonight, the speed at which they're going is hurried, both parties far too impatient to take things slow. Perhaps it is because of Sho's teasing since before dinner, ordering Jun to be naked beneath the kimono throughout dinner and making Jun feel more frustrated than necessary, or the fact that they have been away from each other for a while. Nevertheless, Jun is eager to have Sho in him as soon as physically possible, body burning for Sho as he holds tight to his lover and makes his pleasure known in mewls and soft cries of Sho's name.  
  
There is time still, anyway. Tomorrow morning and night, they can take their time to savour each other.   
  
Sho pulls out his fingers, and Jun whines at the sudden emptiness, only to groan when the emptiness is replaced by a blunt pressure at his opening. Sho’s eyes are dark and unreadable, utterly fixed to Jun’s light brown ones as Sho grabs Jun’s thigh with one hand and Jun’s pert butt cheek in the other, pulling them to spread Jun even further.   
  
“Nngh— Sho. Sho.” Jun pants out as Sho pushes in slowly, the pressure slowly increasing into something that breaches discomfort and fullness as Sho sinks deep into Jun, hair falling over his forehead as he groans Jun’s name. “So full.” Jun whines, suddenly finding it hard to breathe with the fullness that is Sho. Despite his whines, it does not take long for Jun to relax, especially with the soft croons and praises Sho pays to him as he holds himself still within Jun.   
  
“Your body remembers me so well.” Sho rumbles when Jun clenches around Sho’s cock, releasing Jun’s thigh to brace his forearms next to Jun’s head. Instantly, Jun locks his legs around Sho’s waist, wrapping his arms behind Sho’s neck and mewling for Sho to move, arching his back in hopes to pull Sho even deeper into him.  
  
But Sho takes his time, slowly pulling out before thrusting into Jun at the same languid pace, the friction of his cock against Jun’s inner walls sending small spikes of pleasure down Jun’s navel. He does not increase his speed, merely taking his time as Sho pumps in and out of Jun, pulling broken moans out of his lover with every deep thrust in, and driving him insane with the refusal to speed up.  
  
“I swear to gods, Sho;” Jun hisses weakly as every powerful thrust sends him further up the sheets, sweat slicked back sliding against the natural silk. The fullness of having Sho in him sends cloying heat down his spine and in his erection, but it isn’t sufficient to give Jun enough pressure. His hands search for grip on Sho’s toned back, and draws red lines with nails, filled with impatience, “Faster. You can go faster.”   
  
“I know I can. But you wanted me to punish you.” Sho breathes, eyes black fire that stare intensely to Jun’s disgruntled ones, and sit up momentarily to adjust their position. When he tugs Jun’s hips hard onto his cock, the action sends Jun wailing a curse. The new angle letting Sho graze his prostate, then prod it directly with the head of his hard cock within Jun when Sho unwinds Jun’s legs from around his waist to rest on his shoulders.  
  
“Please.” Jun breathes, eyes wide and pleading as his fingers grab onto the silk under him, breaths heavy. His eyes feel mildly wet from desperation, but the effect of his begging is apparently instantly - Sho stiffens, and leans forward to bend Jun in half. His cock feels bigger within Jun, pressed far more deeply, and Jun lets him pleasure be known in a long moan. And begs again when Sho doesn’t move. “Please Sho. Make us feel good.”  
  
“Needy.” Sho states stiffly, but gives into Jun’s begging, grunting as he picks up the pace. Sho slams into Jun, each thrust sending him deep within Jun’s clenching walls and wrenching wails of pleasure from Jun with every harsh press of his prostate.  
  
“F-for you.” Jun manages to gasp, eyelashes fluttering at the onslaught of feelings bombarding him. It is so hard to think when his senses are being overrun by  _Sho Sho Sho._  The hot, hard erection pistoning into Jun. The slick slide of every motion. Their heavy breathings in the quiet room, accompanied by the rustling fabric as the futon gets shifted along the tatami floor from their rough rocking. The whines Jun choke down as he feels utterly overwhelmed and possessed by Sho.   
  
The assault of his senses easily drags Jun closer and closer to his release, but there is something missing still, even as he reaches up to twine his fingers in Sho’s hair, and forces himself to sit up. The angle is slightly painful for Jun, being bent in half, but he doesn’t care, not when he gets to kiss Sho. Leaning close to Sho’s ear, he breaths, “M-more.”  
  
“You don’t know what you’re asking for, Jun.” Sho groans, but drops Jun’s legs from his shoulders. Instead, Sho tugs Jun’s legs over his thighs, and pulls Jun up in a strong motion. With the new position, Jun can ride Sho as he drapes his arms over Sho’s shoulders and rolls his hips, and he muffles his moans against Sho’s mouth.   
  
“Make me come, Sho.”  
  
In a display of strength, Sho grabs Jun’s hips and lifts him up to only have the head of his cock inside of Jun.   
  
And then Sho drops Jun, pulling him down  _hard_  as Sho thrusts upwards; and Jun cries out, eyes rolling and mouth opening in slack pleasure. “S-Sho!” He digs his nails into Sho’s back as Sho repeats the motion again, faster and faster, intent on giving Jun what he wants. The sex is rough and hurried, but it is exactly as Jun asked for. Colours bloom across Jun’s vision, and despite knowing how much his body might ache the following morning, Jun still pleads for more between his loud moans, body shuddering as thick pleasure coils at the base of his spine.   
  
“Gods, you’re so tight and hot around me, Jun.” Sho pants, thrusts becoming increasingly erratic as he edges closer to the precipice. Sho’s eyes are scrunched up tight, as though he is trying to hold back his own orgasm, but that is the outcome Jun is trying to avoid entirely. Jun wants to come, and he wants Sho to help him do so now - he’s had enough of waiting. Jun clenches around Sho in response, wrenching the low groan from Sho as Sho stiffens and reaches a hand between their bodies to fist Jun’s hard erection between them.   
  
It is exactly as Jun wanted, and the hot grip drags his orgasm from him, the tidal wave of pleasure stealing his breath as he stiffens. Jun crashes his lips against Sho’s to muffle his loud cry, and curls around Sho’s body as he comes in long spurts, spilling white come over their bodies. The orgasm has him missing Sho’s own, only realizing so when Sho is groaning Jun’s name into his mouth, hands pulling Jun’s hips downwards to bury Sho’s cock deep within Jun and coming within him. The sensation of hot liquid spurting within his body has Jun mewling in satisfaction, breathless as the pair comes down from their high.  
  
Sho shifts his hands to hug Jun tightly once he relaxes, resting his forehead against Jun’s shoulder and humming in delight when Jun softly strokes his hair, slightly damp with sweat. With the euphoria fading, Jun is conscious of the pleasant ache that settles in his body, concentrating mainly in the lower half of his torso. Right now, the ache is a comforting reminder of the thorough fuck Sho has just given him, but tomorrow, Jun surmises the ache will be fiercer and more painful.   
  
It is fine though - Sho will dote on him, if anything, and Jun doesn’t necessarily have to leave the futon at all. The perks, he supposes, of being a lover of one of the most powerful men within the area.   
  
When Sho pulls out, Jun winces at the slight tug as he continues to latch his arms around Sho’s neck. He is unwilling to let go, even despite of the feeling of Sho’s come slowly flowing out of him from between his legs, and makes it apparent as he holds himself close to Sho, still sitting on his lap, and nuzzles Sho’s neck.  
  
“Let go of me, Jun.” Sho presses in amusement as he fiddles with Jun’s hair. In a sudden movement, he sweeps Jun downwards to lie on his back, Sho looming above him and gazing at him with affectionate eyes. “If you don’t want to stain the uchikake, you’ll have to let me go in about ten seconds.”   
  
Jun responds with an unhappy whine, but recognizes the truth in Sho’s words. It is such a pretty kimono after all, perhaps even his new favourite, with its fine colours and embroidery. Jun reluctantly lets go, wincing when Sho shifts their position slightly to fetch a wet towel and clean both up.   
  
“I’m going to be so sore tomorrow.” Jun mumbles into soft pillows, lifting his body slightly to allow Sho to pull the silk from under him. He sighs in relief at the sensation of cool cotton beneath him, waiting patiently for Sho to settle down beside him. The blanket is pulled on top of him before Jun could begin to feel cold from the autumn air, and he peeks an eye open when he feels Sho lying down next to him, strong arms bundling him against Sho’s naked chest. Instinctively, Jun curls and tucks his head under Sho’s chin, breathing in deeply and sighing in pleasure. This, he missed the most.   
  
“Hurt everywhere?” Sho asks softly, drawing random circles into Jun’s arm. Despite the concerned question, Jun can easily pick out the smugness in his words.   
  
“Don’t sound so proud.” Jun grumbles. “You’re quite pleased with yourself, aren’t you?”  
  
“Of course, I am. You’re the one who kept asking me for more.” Sho lightly pulls up Jun’s hand to kiss it lightly, and a flush covers Jun at the loving action. “I’m not done with you anyway. I have missed you all week.”   
  
Jun buries his face into Sho’s chest to hide the smile that is playing at his lips, but Jun has never been able to hide anything from Sho. Instead, he tilts his head slightly to suck at Sho’s Adam’s apple, and appreciates the rumbling growl the action pulls from Sho. “Are you going to demonstrate how much you missed me, then?”  
  
Sho tugs at Jun’s hair. “Don’t tempt me if you want to walk tomorrow, Jun.”  
  
“But if I don’t want to walk on the following day?” Jun flashes Sho his widest, most innocent eyes, and fights the bubble of laughter when he sees the flat stare Sho directs at him. There is a dark flame burning behind Sho’s dark brown pupils, but he does not act on his lust, to Jun’s chagrin. The man has always been so considerate of Jun, but that is one of the reasons why Jun loves him after all. Jun softens the flat gaze with another kiss, and snuggles close to Sho’s warmth, sleepy from their rigorous coupling.   
  
Sho tightens his embrace around Jun in response. “Good night, Jun.” Sho whispers softly, and Jun hums in response.   
  
  
~Past~  
  
“Matsumoto-sama, welcome.” A maid greets Jun and Nino at the gate, and Jun just barely remembers to not stare in wonder at the vastness of the home. The wooden gates and high rock walls hide the buildings behind it – they are not castles, like those Jun has seen from afar, where the Shogun resides with his family. The architecture of the housing resembles that of those adopted by aristocrats during Kamakura – *buke-zukuri, with its complex layout covering the large land. The gate Jun is directed to, he recognizes, is not the main one – those are often reserved for the most important of guests, and he is a mere servant of the lord apparent for the night.   
  
“This building is Sakurai-dono’s, Matsumoto-sama. You will be residing here tonight, in his quarters.” The maid explains. There is no arrogance from her end, as is usually the case for the current perception of oirans, but Jun appreciates the neutral tone she adopts, guiding him across the garden and pointing out the important rooms, and the area where Jun should not cross. Despite the layout of the entire land being one that is more traditional, the building that has been allocated to Sho is something more modern, shoji shifted around to separate rooms in a manner that reflects the elegance of the Edo *sukiya-zukuri style. Far simpler, less pompadour – as expected of Sho.   
  
It is something Jun is familiar with, after having lived in a teahouse for 7 years, and his family home was similar, as bitter of a memory it is.  
  
Thankfully, the building that is Sho’s is separated from the massive complex that is the main household home of the Sakurai Daimyo. There will be privacy at least.   
  
Nino had separated from Jun upon crossing the gate, looking mildly green as he excused himself under the pretense of needing to report to Sho. That means that once Jun is left in a small guest chamber, he is entirely alone, staring quietly at *tokonama alcove, with merely a small ikebana to accompany him, as well as a cup of green tea, thankfully cold. The wooden column supports in the room have not been carved into the sharp square corners. They retain their natural wooden state, cedar trunks polished into smooth sturdiness that reflects a gentle hominess that makes Jun nostalgic. The walls are covered in neutral-toned plaster, free from garish paintings and murals that Jun has seen during parties held by rich merchants. The entire house exudes a benevolent strength, not hidden by exaggerated displays of wealth (even if Jun is certain that the Sakurai family, Sho included, are rich).   
  
Today is his birthday. While Jun is grateful that he has lasted this long – and he is certain that he would not have if he had not met Sho, Aiba, Nino and Ohno – there is always that underlying sadness of his past. He is 20 today, an adult by society standards, yet he will never reconcile with his family, and they may never know of his fate… or would they even care? Jun is uncertain. After all, they were the ones who left him in the teahouse.   
  
A door slides open, and Jun whips around so quickly that his hair pins chime at the movement.   
  
“Jun.” Ohno greets softly, gesturing Jun to approach him quickly. He is still dressed in his apprentice-chef uniform, but he holds a folded piece of letter in his hand, a letter, and Jun understands. “A letter from Sho.”  
  
The letter in his hand feels like a lifeline when Jun reaches out to take it. Ohno’s eyes are kind, as they always are, and he reaches out to pat Jun’s shoulder gently when Jun comes close enough. He doesn’t have to say anything, but his warm touch is enough to convey his strength. “Happy birthday, Jun.”  _And have courage,_  Ohno perhaps means to say with his eyes and comforting squeeze.  
  
Jun’s eyes burn with emotions, but he nods his thanks. Ohno leaves immediately, eyes peering around the hallway to ensure there is no one around, before closing the door with a small smile. When the panel closes, Jun remains in front of it for several more moments, fingers trembling as he unfolds it. While he was not nervous when he left the teahouse, the anxiety has returned in full force now that he is within Sho’s home.   
  
The letter is the only comfort Jun has now, even with the few words written.  
  
 _‘Jun.  
  
I hope you are well. Please do not be nervous, for I am sure you are as beautiful as always. I cannot wait to see you, but I am unfortunately caught up in some business and can only see you during dinner. Nevertheless, I will think of you until then, and hope you will do so of me. Happy birthday. Until dinner.  
  
Yours, SS.’_  
  
Jun clutches the letter to his chest for several minutes afterwards, and sighs. He forgets how easily Sho’s words can put him at ease, even written words, but the feeling of calmness replaces his anxiety, and the tightness in his chest relaxes for the first time today. Tucking the letter away into the sleeve of his kimono, Jun walks over to the alcove and looks disapprovingly at the ikebana.   
  
It can surely be improved. And Jun needs a source of entertainment.   
  
\--  
When the shoji doors slide open into the dining room, Jun is disappointed to see that Sho is not yet in the room.   
  
“Sakurai-dono will be here in a few minutes, Matsumoto-sama. He apologizes for the wait.”   
  
Jun nods in acknowledgement, but the motion is a distracted one. This dining room, with the view of a quiet garden and an attached terrace… “What room is this?”   
  
“It is Sakurai-dono’s anteroom. He requested for dinner to served here.”   
  
Of course, Sho did, Jun sighs, and thanks her once again. Almost immediately after she closes the door, he hears Nino’s voice alongside of Sho’s, discussing about the business in the district just north of the teahouse. An indescribable feelings surges within Jun, heart beating wildly, especially when he hears Nino bid his farewell, and Sho asking, “Is he in there?”  
  
“He is, Sakurai-dono.”   
  
“The bath, prepared? … Thank you, Tamiko-chan.”   
  
There is no point pretending to be nonchalant when Sho walks in, but Jun retains enough decency to not throw himself at Sho in a hug. However, Sho does not seem to share the same sentiment. As soon as the door slides shut, Sho takes four big strides to cover the distance between them, backing Jun against a column. For a moment, Jun wonders if Sho is going to kiss him, eyes wide in surprise while Sho gazes at him with an unreadable expression; but when Sho leans in, it is to hug Jun, body warm as he squeezes Jun gently.   
  
Jun stiffens at the hug, but not because the motion is unfamiliar – hugs are unusually common between them, for Sho has always been surprisingly affectionate with Jun since they were young. Instead, his awkwardness stems from a queer sensation of disappointment. Jun was expecting a kiss, and now that he has been bereft of it, Jun feels oddly unhappy, but manages to raise his arms and return the embrace.   
  
“What do I hear about you asking for flowers?” Sho asks a moment later, when he takes a step back. Although it is improper to slouch, Jun leans back slightly against the wooden column, and feels mildly pleased when Sho’s nostrils flare at the action. Jun can do this – it is like their normal interactions, although something has changed between them, a dynamic that used to be close companionship, but is set to evolve tonight.   
  
Jun raises his hands to look at his nails, smile cheeky and teasing. “The flower arrangements in the room that I was waiting in was boring, flat, and breaking about five rules of ikebana. I had to do something to occupy my time.”   
  
“And for a moment I thought you wanted flowers for your birthday.” Sho chuckles, and steps forward to seize Jun’s hands in his larger ones.   
  
“Are you offering?” Jun asks innocently, but blushes at the sudden closeness between them once again. The unreadable expression is back on Sho’s face, and Jun notes how handsome Sho looks up close. Over the years, Sho has lost the cute chubbiness and chipmunk-expression that Jun was deeply used to, but in turn, has matured greatly. His eyes still hold determined fierceness, and tone occasionally bossy at times, but as Aiba and Nino pointed out, Sho has always been far kinder to Jun.   
  
“I was thinking of giving you something… different, this year.”   
  
“Oh?” Jun squeaks, and cannot help himself as his eyes flicker down to look at Sho’s full lips. He has always wondered what kissing would feel like, and Aiba has never been helpful with his description. “L-like what?”   
  
Sho does not answer. Instead, he leans in and cocks his head slightly, eyes flickering down to Jun’s mouth as Sho cups Jun’s cheek. He rests his other arm against the column above Jun’s head, and together, his frame traps Jun.  
  
“You know, you look much better without this powder hiding all your beauty marks.” Sho whispers, just loud enough for the two of them to hear despite the privacy. “But I’ve been wanting to kiss you for a while now.”   
  
Jun swallows, eyes wide as his breath catches his throat. “Umm. Since…when?” He must ask.   
  
“Maybe a year or two ago. You’ve always been so cute.” Sho answers casually, as though they aren’t in a compromising position and that dinner can be brought in any time soon. “Can I?”   
  
“…mmhmm.” Jun swallows thickly, unsure of what to do with his hands as he wraps them around Sho’s waist and clutches at his kimono.   
  
Sho chuckles at his obvious unease, and comments, “Relax, will you?”, before tilting his head slightly and leaning forward. Jun forgets to breathe the moment Sho’s soft lips touch his own, but his eyes close instinctively, a soft exhale leaving him at the contact. Sho’s lips are warm against his, a gentle press that leaves Jun yearning for more, but unsure of how to ask as his arms curl upwards to pull Sho closer. It is hard to describe his first kiss, but Jun sums it up in one word – ‘Sho’. Just… Sho.   
  
He feels mildly dizzy when they part, gulping down air as he clings onto Sho, and Sho chuckles while patting his hair.   
  
“I told you to relax.”   
  
“You didn’t tell me that I should breathe!” Jun complains, and freezes when Sho leans in to brush a tiny kiss on the corner of his mouth. Sho’s lips are tinted slightly red from the safflower pigment that is on Jun’s, and while the colour looks very pretty on Sho, Jun reaches up to wipe them away lightly with his finger.  
  
His lips feel different when Jun is touching them with his hands, versus than with Jun’s own lips.   
  
“I had the kitchen prepare something simple but filling tonight. I bet you didn’t eat a lot for lunch today, did you? Too nervous?” Sho asks as he pulls Jun to the table set up in the center of the room. Jun manages to sit down properly on his own, despite the kimono, but pinks at being so easily read by Sho. Now that Jun is with him, and Sho making him relaxed, Jun can feel his hunger return, and he nods timidly.   
  
The door slides open just in time for Sho to take his own seat across from Jun, looking as though nothing had happened between them moments ago.   
  
His mouth begins to salivate when Ohno serves a bowl of *oyako-don in front of him, followed by a bowl of miso soup, and Jun shoots Sho a look of gratefulness. Something simple is a far better dinner than the intricate kaiseki dinner after a nerve wrecking day.   
  
Kaiseki was good, but homey food on Jun’s birthday is something he appreciates in greater measure.   
  
Sho shoots him a wide grin when Ohno helps to pour them both a cup of sake. Jun has never had alcohol before, and Sho clearly plans to change that today as well.   
  
Jun better make sure he doesn’t get drunk tonight. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Explanatory Notes (In order of appearance):
> 
> Kanzashi: Japanese hair accessories.  
> Buke-zukuri: Style of architecture for military families, expanse and large with plenty of space between the main house and the gates.   
> Sukiya-zukuri: Refers to the architecture style that leaned towards refined cultured taste, mainly with regards to tea ceremony. They utilized a lot of natural materials as well as natural forms, far simpler.  
> Tokonama alcove: A small aclove/indent that’s built into the room, where an ikebana and Japanese calligraphy are usually placed. The head of the futon starts on the wall of the tokonama alcove (not enough sources for this though).  
> Oyako-don: Chicken and egg rice bowl


	3. Chapter 3

“I don’t want to go home.” Jun blinks slowly at the bottom of his sake cup, face feeling and appearing warm and flushed from the alcohol. He isn’t drunk… maybe tipsy, or rather, he can decide if the world stops swimming just a bit. Across the table, Sho takes one good look at Jun and laughs. “Sho-chan… I don’t wanna go home.”   
  
“That’s enough alcohol for you.” Sho states as he reaches over to grab Jun’s sake cup and the bottle nearby, and pushes it to the far end of the table. When Jun looks at his empty hands with a look of despondency, Sho pours him a glass of water. “Drink.”   
  
“But—”   
  
Sho sighs and slides around the table to tug Jun into his lap. The movement catches Jun by surprise, uncoordinated hands flying to wrap around Sho’s neck in response. When the cool glass of water is pressed against his lips, Jun flushes further but takes the proffered glass of water, unwilling to be hand-fed by Sho. He does feel slightly better after drinking the water, but the reacquisition of his consciousness only makes him more embarrassed to be on Sho’s lap. Yet, Sho does not seem bothered by his position – instead, he takes the initiative to help Jun undo the restrictive obi, hand slipping between the loosened obi to undo the datejime.  
  
“Better?”   
  
Jun does feel better, but his tongue is loose from alcohol still, head foggy, and he buries his head in the crook of Sho’s neck. “Can I just stay here, forever?”   
  
“Where is here?” Sho’s voice is patient, like Aiba’s comforting tone, but Sho never presses.   
  
“Here, with you. I don’t want to go back. To the teahouse or… to home, wherever that may be.” Jun mumbles. “I just want to stay here with you, where it’s safe.”   
  
“Is it not safe in the teahouse?” Sho’s tone is suddenly sharp and alert, hands tightening around Jun’s body, but Jun doesn’t notice.   
  
“What if I get an assignment that requires me to… do things?” His voice is feeble, but Jun tries to not sound pathetic – it is his job after all, but surely, it is reasonable for him to feel uncertain about that aspect of his work. Even tonight, he is afraid, but he tries to push that fear away. Sho will not harm him… he hopes.   
  
“Jun.” Sho grabs Jun by the shoulders and pulls him away slightly, and orders, “Look at me.” When Jun does, he is startled by the level of strength in Sho’s eyes, dark pupils burning with promise. “I won’t let anything happen to you. How many times do I have to remind you?” Even with the exasperated tone, the fond stroking of Jun’s hair comforts him.   
  
“It’s my job, Sho.”   
  
“And it’s mine to protect you. Won’t you accept that from me?”   
  
Jun is very much tempted to say yes, but he must be practical – Sho cannot be there for him all the time. And he says just that, looking away from Sho as hopelessness laps at his heartstrings once again; Jun cannot help but hate his fate.   
  
“Don’t underestimate me, Jun. I’m not the only person who cares about you – Masaki, Nino, Satoshi – we all do our best to look out for each other. And you know how possessive I am, don’t you? I won’t let anyone take what’s mine.”   
  
Jun feels teary now, overemotional from the alcohol, but he manages to hide his face in Sho’s shoulder before Sho can see them flow. “Possessive lord-heir.” Jun bites back weakly, but smiles into Sho’s kimono.   
  
“You’re  _mine._ ” Sho states proudly, and laughs when Jun jabs him on his side. Jun lets out a yelp of surprise when Sho grabs him by his waist and flips Jun onto his back, hand cupping the back of his head to stop Jun from knocking his head against the tatami flooring. Jun’s world spins just a little, but when it refocuses, Sho is looming over him with an affectionate smile, one that sends Jun’s heart into little flutters. “You’re so red.” Sho coos, and Jun must still have a lot of alcohol in his system, for he pouts in response, inciting a wide smile from Sho.   
  
“Don’t tease me.”   
  
“I’m just stating the obvious.” Sho moves away from Jun and offers a hand, which Jun takes up with hesitation. “Shall we have a quick bath and head to bed? You must be tired.”  
  
The concept of taking a bath with Sho under their new circumstances makes Jun balk, but he steels his nerves and nods nervously, letting Sho guide him into the next room, and then stops before a smaller washroom that is connected to it. Under their old… ‘situation’, Jun wouldn’t bat an eye if told to bathe with Sho, but now that they are to be lovers, an irrational bashfulness makes itself known to Jun.   
  
“Undress me, Jun.” Sho orders softly, standing before Jun with arms outstretched. Despite his skittishness, Jun has never let something as minimal as embarrassment affect his work performance, and he begins to undo Sho’s obi. His fingers are clumsy from intoxication, but Sho makes no comment, fingers lightly tracing circles into Jun’s skin as Sho helps Jun remove his hair ornaments. Jun mewls in delight when Sho frees his hair from the pins and massages his scalp, and takes advantage of his own distraction to remove Sho’s cotton kimono and hadajuban in one motion. There is barely time for him to admire Sho’s body – naked save for the fundoshi – when Jun is suddenly pushed against the wall, hand cupping the back of his head as Sho pushes his lips against Jun’s.   
  
“Sho—mmph.” Jun whines as his mouth is suddenly occupied by Sho’s, eyes wide in pleasant surprise. He had not been expecting this, yet Jun finds himself getting used to being kissed quickly – he remembers Aiba’s advice, softening his lips as he tilts his head slightly, and reaches up to cup Sho’s face in his hands. As he does so, Jun makes sure to stroke the warm smooth skin of Sho’s back, marvelling at the hard muscles of Sho’s deltoids. “What happened to the bath?” Jun squeaks, especially when Sho pushes Jun’s kimonos off his shoulders and onto the tatami.   
  
“Let me just appreciate you a bit more.” Sho sighs into Jun’s mouth. “Just… you’re so beautiful.”   
  
Jun flushes again, and distracts himself by reaching for Sho’s fundoshi to undo the last scrap of cloth on Sho. Sho seems unbothered by his sudden nakedness, or at least, far less embarrassed than Jun regarding his own nudity. On the other hand, Jun must force himself from staring at Sho’s cock, already slightly erect. It is large in its current state, and Jun wonders in fascinated horror how big it will be once they are in bed.   
  
A hand grasps Jun’s chin and lifts it lightly, forcing Jun to blink blearily at Sho. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Sho laughs, but doesn’t push Jun any further. “We really need to sober you up a little. I’ll wait in the bathroom, so just come in once you’re undressed, alright?”  
  
Jun nods distractedly, and watches with dazed eyes as Sho leaves him alone, Jun’s eyes automatically zeroing onto the pert butt that is Sho’s, as well as his sculpted outline. Sho is gorgeous, but it only adds further doubt – should Sho attach himself with someone with Jun’s fate? It hardly seems fair. Nevertheless, Jun removes his own fundoshi, and hurries into the washroom; he does not want to have Sho wait too long for him.   
  
“Sorry to keep you waiting.” He murmurs when he takes a seat in the wooden stool next to Sho. There is only one bucket and faucets for hot and cold water, but Jun expected it given that this is Sho’s personal quarters. Sho does not catch Jun’s low mood, waiting for Jun to slide the door close before handing him the bucket to wash himself.   
  
“You didn’t take long. Let me wash your hair.” Jun nearly protests, but Sho silences him with a wet peck on his cheek. “Let me do this. It’s your birthday, and I want to spoil you.”   
  
Jun grumbles, and turns around to let Sho lather soap into his hair. “But I’m supposed to be serving you today.”  
  
“Consider it a service for you to offer your hair to me to wash.” Sho jokes, and digs his fingers into Jun’s scalp. The action earns a soft moan from Jun, who relaxes instantly, and proceeds to scrub himself thoroughly. He pauses when Sho suddenly stops his motions. “Also, your… ‘service’ tonight, will be sufficient for me, Jun.”  
  
The dark words are filled with lustful adoration and Sho holds nothing but affection for Jun, but nevertheless, Jun stiffens, shoulders hunching forward before he can stop himself. Sho catches the motion, cursing and hurriedly seizing Jun in a hug before Jun can clam up even further.   
  
“I’m sorry, that was rude of me, Jun.” Sho rushes, sounding deeply apologetic next to Jun’s ear. Their position is slightly awkward, with Sho having to stretch slightly to drape his chest over Jun’s back, but Sho seems stubbornly attached to Jun, even with Jun’s quiet protests. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. I know you’ve been terrified about it for a while.”  
  
Sho has always been so considerate towards Jun, Jun realizes as he blinks back a sudden rush of emotional tears. Turning around, he envelops Sho in a slippery hug; Sho tilts his head just in time to avoid Jun’s soapy hair, grimacing slightly at the close call, but returns the embrace, calling out Jun’s name in concern.   
  
“N-no,” Jun clears his throat when the words come out hoarse, and continues, “I want to tonight. I want to make you feel good, Sho.”  
  
“Are you sure?” Once again, Sho’s words are filled with concern. This merely adds to Jun resolve as he nods against Sho’s shoulder.   
  
“I’m sure. I’m just… nervous.” He admits quietly, suddenly shy. “I’ve never done it before.”   
  
“I know, Jun. Don’t worry.” Sho pulls back to look at Jun intently, smiling softly. Jun returns a small smile. “We can figure it out together.”   
  
Jun leans in to initiate the kiss this time, eyelashes fluttering against Sho’s eyelids when he leans forward to press their mouths together. The bathroom is hardly the most appropriate place to do this, but the moment feels right, coupled with Jun’s unsurmountable affection for Sho. His fingers cannot find any grip with all the soap around them, but it does not matter for them as Jun loops his arms around Sho’s neck, and Sho grasps Jun’s bare waist. When Sho parts his lips to deepen the kiss, Jun squeaks at Sho’s tongue lightly teasing his bottom lip, coaxing Jun to open his mouth.  
  
And he does, with insecure tentativeness, parting his lips slightly. What Jun does not realize is that such an action is invitation for Sho to devour him (although he does not mind), and he lets out a muffled whine-moan when Sho’s tongue delves into his mouth, as though searching or seeking for something only Jun can provide. The slick contact of Sho’s tongue against Jun’s confers Jun more courage, like a surge of arousal – and a guttural sound escapes Sho as Jun slips his tongue into Sho’s mouth and rakes it across of the top of Sho’s teeth.   
  
He wants to hear Sho make the noise again, but he does not get the chance, Sho forcing their lip-lock to end. They are out of breath and it makes Jun deliriously happy to see that Sho is panting as well, eyes dark and his cock half hard between his legs, but then he takes a good look of Sho’s hair, and breaks out in laughter.   
  
“Y-your hair.” Jun barks out, snorting at the dorsal-fin-like shape of Sho’s hair, messed up by Jun’s grip. “You look like a fish.”   
  
Sho blinks, and grins widely as he leans forward to do the same with Jun’s soapy hair, batting away Jun’s flailing arms. “Excuse me then, Mr Shark. You have the same hair as I do now.”  
  
“You’re such a child.” Jun teases impishly, giggling at the look of mock-offense on Sho’s face. “And to think you are older than me—Ah!”   
  
Jun nearly shrieks at the contact of warm water against his chest, nearly falling off his stool had it not be Sho’s grip around his wrist. “You threw water at me!”  
  
“I am a child, after all.” Sho replies congenially, bucket still held in his hand. His eyes are twinkling with amusement, a side that only a few tiny handful of people are privy to, inclusive of Jun. “Come now, let’s not waste time.”  
  
After the tiny bit of fun, they manage to finish their wash without further drama, taking turns to wash each other’s back. When they settled in the wooden *ofuro, Jun is sitting between Sho’s legs, leaning sideways slightly to share occasional, small kisses. Very soon, they will both retire to Sho’s bed, and Jun must admit he is more excited than nervous now. The previous kisses they’ve shared feels like a big tease to Jun, a slow burning candle that gets brighter with every second their lips touch, a test of Sho’s restraint, and Jun’s patience. While Sho clearly has the former in spades, Jun does not, and he wants more than intense kisses (even if the kisses do feel good).   
  
Perhaps Sho senses Jun’s restlessness, or perhaps, Sho is equally impatient, for he bundles Jun up in towels after barely five minutes of soaking, nudging him out of the tub. He insists in helping Jun dry his long hair, and Jun gives up after Sho spins him around to face away from him for the fifth time.  
  
“I can dry my own hair, Sho.” Jun grumbles, yelping when the front of the towel comes around and whacks him in the nose, especially with Sho’s vigorous drying. “Why are you doing this?”   
  
“Because I want to. Let me indulge you tonight.”   
  
The reply silences Jun, but he manages to a grumble a half-hearted “Haven’t you done enough of that today?”  
  
Skin damp but no longer wet, and hair semi-dry, the two descend on the bed with an atmosphere of reverence and curious hands. They don’t bother with dressing themselves – it would have been taken off almost immediately.   
  
Jun is no longer embarrassed about being naked in front of Sho anymore, but finds it suddenly awkward when Sho looms above him, looking but not touching. Despite the soft cotton against his skin – far softer than anything he has slept on before, Jun realizes – he isn’t sure what to do, yet he knows lying stiffly on the futon isn’t the most enticing of images. Where does he put his hands? Does he part his legs, or would that be too sultry? Can he reach out to touch Sho, ask him for a kiss, or should he wait for Sho to make the first move, to wait for Sho’s touch?  
  
Callused fingers caressing his cheek drags Jun out of the maelstrom that is his mind; Jun lets out a puzzled sound, turning his head into Sho’s hand and nuzzling the warm hand. Perhaps he didn’t need to overthink, for his legs part instinctively when Sho crawls towards him, and the sudden dilation of Sho’s eyes at the movement teaches Jun that he has done the right thing. Perhaps initiative is okay, Jun thinks.  
  
Sho doesn’t share his tentativeness – he presses their lips together in a gentle kiss without asking, testing Jun’s willingness through his response towards Sho. Jun gives in quickly, letting out a pleased sound as he twines his fingers into Sho’s hair as a sign of approval, and sighs when Sho deepens the kiss. His lips part involuntarily when Sho nibbles on his bottom lip, letting Sho take advantage of his invitation to taste Jun.  
  
Gods, Jun can barely remember to breathe with how intense the air is between them. Even with the rough intakes of air Jun manages, his head begins to spin from the blood rushing to his nether regions, cock hardening between his legs. Sho isn’t rough with his kisses, merely powerful and dominating with the way his tongue sweeps across Jun’s teeth, and fingers circling his neck, then down to his sternum.   
  
“Sh-Sho.” Jun murmurs weakly when they finally part, need clawing in his belly. “I want—I want…” He trails off, shutting his eyes tightly as words fail him. There is something he craves, but Jun doesn’t know what it is, unsure of what exactly he is asking for.   
  
“Shh…” Sho murmurs, and Jun feels Sho’s lips against his Adam’s apple, the hollow of Jun’s neck, his collarbone…  
  
And Jun gasps in surprise as Sho wraps his lips around Jun’s right nipple, and sucks hard. The sudden rush of pleasure has Jun whining, back arching in great surprise as his eyes snap open, fingers finding their way to Sho’s damp hair and asking for more. A pink flush develops across Jun’s shoulders, and he shudders when Sho pinches Jun’s other nipple.   
  
“Sho.” Jun rasps once again, hips bucking up shakily at the foreplay. There is an arousing reverence in the way Sho plays with Jun’s body, even when Sho unlatches his lips from Jun’s now stiff, wet nipple, and blows. The breath of cool air has Jun moaning unabashedly – it is another source of pleasure, of a new sensation that startles Jun with how good it feels despite its simplicity.   
  
Is this what sex is about – giving one’s partner pleasure, even with the smallest of actions? Jun’s erection aches between his legs even without being touched by Sho, and Jun curiously peeks at Sho’s half-hard erection. A darker flush colours his cheeks when Jun realizes that he has done nothing but lie there and mewl Sho’s name, yet he has made Sho aroused just by doing so.  
  
“You look amazing.” Sho breathes, gently nosing at the mole next to Jun’s right nipple, then likely nipping at his left nipple. “You’ve got so many of these marks… I want to find all of them.”   
  
And he maps them. Sho’s fingers brush against another one of Jun’s mole, one that’s just on his left waist, the side of his ribs… while his other hand makes note of the ones on Jun’s neck, on his shoulder, his forearms. The action is so small, but so reverential that Jun cannot help but feel good. Every touch sears, drawing out small mewls from Jun as Sho presses light kisses to each of them, then moving down Jun’s body and finding the ones on his hips.   
  
“You have them down here too.” Sho states in fascination, ignoring Jun’s leaking erection entirely to suck lightly at the moles along Jun’s inner thigh. “They’re so cute.”   
  
Breathing heavily, Jun’s hips twitch, and unintentional movement that has the tip of his cock hitting Sho’s chin. “S-Sho. Please…” Jun whines, wishing for Sho to get a move on. The body worship is amazing and making Jun choke up on so many ways, but Jun wants to make Sho feel good too.  
  
“Hmm?” Sho takes a break from his ‘cartographic’ experience of Jun’s body to look up at Jun, hum amused but not necessarily condescending. “Please? Please, what?”   
  
Jun licks his lips. “I-I want to make you feel good too.”   
  
“But seeing you like this, so flushed and hot and wet for me…” Sho proves his point by thumbing Jun’s leaking slit, causing Jun to lurch and cry out in surprise. “Is enough to turn me on, Jun. Gods, you’re so hot. Does that feel good, Jun?”   
  
Jun arches his hips in search more contact, and babbles his agreement, head swimming in the sharp pleasure. “Feels… so good.”   
  
“Yeah? That’s good. I want you to feel good.”   
  
The words remind Jun that he should repay Sho’s consideration. Sho makes him feel good; Jun wonders – no, he wants - to do the same. He wants to explore Sho’s body too, make the man gasp and whisper Jun’s name in rapture.   
  
“Can I sit up?” Jun stutters as Sho slowly smears the precome over and around the head of his erection. He asks, because he knows that if Sho continues to tease him, Jun will not be able to manage it at all, unused to the attention being showered upon him. Instantly, Sho’s face colours with concern, letting go of Jun entirely.   
  
“Are you ok—”  
  
Jun hurriedly takes advantage of Sho’s distracted state of hook his leg around Sho’s, and flips them. Sho grunts when his back contacts the cotton beneath him, but he is not angry. He chuckles at Jun’s breathless state, grabbing onto Jun’s hips to balance Jun.   
  
“You little minx.” Sho chuckles, squeezing Jun’s hips teasingly. “If you wanted me on my back, you could have asked.”  
  
“You would have never let me do so.” Jun pouts, as he zeroes onto Sho’s half-hard erection and grabs it by the base tentatively. He relishes the soft grunt Sho releases at the action, and watches closely as Jun strokes the soft organ in his hand; Sho seems keen to watch Jun jerk him off, dark eyes – filled with carnal desire – staring at Jun with a hunger that sparks an adrenaline rush through Jun, heat consistently pooling between his thighs. Leaning forward, Jun whisper into Sho’s ear, “Does it feel good?”  
  
Jun asks out of curiosity; when Sho teases Jun, Jun is helpless under his ministrations, moans and mewls spilling out of him almost involuntarily. But when Jun is the one tease Sho, teasing his frenulum and tracing the thick vein on the underside of Sho’s pulsing erection, Sho remains silent. Only his soft hitches of breath and occasional tightening of grip on Jun’s hips give away his bliss… and that frustrates Jun so much.  
  
“Very good.” Sho’s voice is like velvet to Jun’s ears, the low baritone inciting shivers down Jun’s spine as a hot hand settles in Jun’s hair, stroking it in heavy, sweeps. “Everything that you do to me is good, Jun. You’re amazing.”   
  
Emotions sweep over Jun like a gentle wave, and he is suddenly blinking back tears (driven by alcohol, Jun will say in the morning) of reasons unknown to him. He tightens his grip around Sho’s leaking erection, stroking with far greater fervour to draw louder groans from Sho’s. There is something thrilling and unbelievably hot, seeing Sho’s shoulder muscles tense and mouth fall open in the low sounds of pleasure. Coupled with Sho’s reverent hands, stroking Jun’s back and slipping occasionally between Jun’s butt cheeks, Jun’s need for Sho skyrockets.   
  
A pleading “Take me.” Slips out of Jun automatically when Sho suddenly sweeps Jun backwards onto his back. Sho’s eyes are just black – so dark and dilated in want as he grabs a vial from alcove near his bed. The sight of the oil dripping down Sho’s fingers make him part his legs involuntarily, calling Sho’s name in soft want, begging him to hurry in timid cries.   
  
Sho takes his time preparing Jun, nonetheless. He coos and shushes Jun’s begging as he slips an oiled finger into Jun, taking his time to stretch Jun and explore his inner walls. The stretch is unfamiliar, scary even, but there is no room to fear when Sho evaluates Jun’s readiness with knowing eyes, stopping when Jun clenches at the burn, and drawing circles into Jun’s hip to relax him.   
  
“Another, Sho.” Jun murmurs into the pillows, hair fanning across the white cotton sheets and wincing at the renewed stretch. Gods, will Sho even fit, Jun wonders, if every new added finger sends pain tingling down his spine. Amidst the pain, there is a sensation of fullness that Jun fears he might get addicted too, especially when Sho’s fingers caress a spot within him that has Jun’s thighs suddenly trembling in newfound bliss. “Again.”   
  
“Again?” Sho asks curiously, finger stilling within Jun momentarily, then repeating the same caress. “Here?”  
  
Jun gasps in response, eyes widening as he spreads his legs further instinctively. “So good.” He breathes, and shudders in delight when Sho hastens the process, scissoring his fingers to stretch Jun thoroughly. “Gods, so full, Sho…”   
  
Jun feels utterly wrecked, even before Sho enters him. There is something special about the way Sho looks at him, feels Jun from inside, and curls his fingers within Jun that makes his heart bit faster, and body sweat in anticipation. Even as Sho positions the head of his erection at Jun’s gaping entrance, Jun cannot pry his gaze away from Sho.   
  
So handsome, protective…  
  
He gasps as Sho suddenly pushes in, filling Jun up in an impossible slow rate. Even with the preparation and the slow entry, the entry hurts a little, but Jun doesn’t care – their hands clasp together, breaths almost synchronized as Sho holds himself still within Jun. Their eyes are fixed onto each other, and with a breathed sigh of “Sho…”, Sho moves.   
  
Jun is gone.   
  
  
~Present~  
  
There are tears in his eyes when Jun wakes up. They are not ones of sadness, however, but they still catch him off-guard.  _What a strange dream,_  Jun thinks, for it was more like a clear memory than a figment of his imagination. The smell of cotton beneath him has not changed a single bit over the decade, still the same mild smell, laced with the distinctive scent of Sho’s shampoo and bar soap. It is both nostalgic and melancholic; so many things have changed over the years, Jun included. He remembers being insecure, keeping his head down as an apprentice, but quickly rising through the ranks once he became an official oiran, even surpassing Aiba within a few years.   
  
The most important bit, however, is having been under Sho’s protection for the longest time. Even presently, Sho is still extremely protective of Jun, something Jun finds amusing, and extremely touching.   
  
His eyes feel gritty now, and there is no way Jun will be able to fall back asleep. Sighing, he lifts his hands from the futon to wipe his eyes, and frowns when he realizes that he cannot move them.  
  
 _What?_  
  
“You’re awake?” Sho sounds pleased, but his voice does not come from next to Jun, despite Jun being certain they had fallen asleep next to each other the night before. Jun sighs, and rolls his eyes behind his closed eyelids. He tests his hands, and clucks his tongue when he finds that he cannot move them to any region below his head. At least the fabric used to bound them is soft, almost crepe like in nature…  
  
“Did you tie me up with the obi?” Jun hisses, sleepiness vanishing in an instant as he snaps his eyes open to glare accusingly at Sho. Sho merely responds with a sheepish smile, clad in a light cotton yukata that he wears as a robe, left untied.   
  
“It’s convenient, no?” Sho smiles, cocking his head slightly as he reaches above Jun to check the bindings. Jun traces Sho’s movement, and narrows his eyes when he realizes Sho has chosen to bind Jun to a wooden column near the alcove. It is no wonder Jun cannot move his hands at all, not even to touch himself, nor wipe his face.   
  
“Says the man unbound.” Jun snaps, without much heat. Thankfully, his feet aren’t bound together, allowing Jun to nudge Sho  _hard_  with his ankle. “Will you at least give me some water so my mouth won’t taste horrible?”   
  
“You didn’t have to ask.”  
  
The water that is given to Jun is cool, held to Jun’s lips by Sho. The action is familiar – this has happened before, Sho helping him hold a glass of water to his lips. Jun merely has to turn his head to tell Sho that he has had enough, but Sho suddenly frowns as he puts away the water, leaning in close to Jun with concerned eyes.   
  
“You have tear tracks on your face.” Sho gently wipes at the marks with the ball of his thumb, skin coarse against Jun’s cheek. “Are you alright? Did you have a nightmare?”   
  
Jun hurriedly shakes his head when Sho makes a motion to undo the bindings. “I’m alright. It wasn’t a nightmare.”   
  
“You were crying.” Sho’s forehead scrunches up in confusion, and Jun wishes Sho will hug him, just from the amount of care Sho is giving him. “I didn’t notice when I was tying you up – you were making such tempting sounds, I hadn’t thought to wake you up—”  
  
Jun flushes at the mention of the ‘tempting sounds’ – was he moaning? – and shakes his head once more. “It wasn’t a bad dream. It was… good. A memory.”   
  
Sho hugs him nonetheless, a tiny embrace coupled with gentle strokes of Jun’s hair in a manner that makes Jun melt. “What memory was it? One of the nights we shared together?” Sho says it in a teasing manner, but his guess is accurate, and Jun pinks, hiding his face into Sho’s shoulder at the sudden embarrassment.   
  
“Our first night together.” Jun murmurs, before stretching over to press a tiny kiss on the underside of Sho’s jaw. “Apparently I remember it very clearly.”   
  
“You were so cute then.” Sho pauses, and adds, “You are still cute too.” Jun rolls his eyes, smiling at the quick correction. He shivers when Sho’s fingers slide over to his chest and begins to draw lines between the moles on his neck. “Painfully shy, but so beautiful and open when I first entered you…” Sho’s voice drops one octave when he reaches over to pinch Jun’s nipple with a stray hand.   
  
Jun lets out a breathy mewl, and curses when he tugs at his hands, only to meet resistance.   
  
“You even make the same sounds.” Sho comments darkly, leaning over to mouth at Jun’s left nipple who pinching the other. The sensation of hot-wet-suction coupled with sharp pain has Jun arching his back in a loud moan, one that he does not bother to hold back – there is no point trying to hold it in.  
  
“And you react to them in the same manner,” Jun laughs breathily, arching his back once again when Sho bites teasingly at his chest. Their response to each other might be the same, but there has been change – growth, of course. Jun is no longer the shy person he was – or rather, he doesn’t mind losing his inhibitions when he is with Sho.   
  
“I know you have had a wonderful dream, but do you suppose you can handle another round?” Sho breaths hotly against Jun’s ear, hands sliding down to press Jun’s thighs apart, massaging the thick muscle there. His fingers find their way to Jun’s opening, still slightly loose from yesterday’s fucking, lightly pressing against the gaping rim. “You’re still loose from yesterday.”   
  
A harsh whine escapes Jun at the touch, thighs shaking as he fights the urge to close his legs. He manages a flat glare, although its effect is likely dampened from how flushed Jun is. “That’s because you fucked me hard yesterday.”  
  
“You asked me for more, didn’t you?” Sho states matter-of-factly, tugging at Jun’s hips upwards and pushing Jun’s thighs against his chest. “I gave you what you want.”   
  
“You speak as though it was a chore for you.” Jun gasps breathily when Sho begins to nose at his half hard erection, pouty lips teasingly wrapping around the glans. “  
  
“It  _was_  a chore.” Sho teases, lightly blowing at the wet tip and smirking at the sharp jerk of Jun’s hips. “Imagine me, having to bend to all your wishes, day in and day out, buying you things… Don’t I deserve a break or reward?”   
  
Rolling his eyes, Jun bucks his hips to gesture for Sho to continue, hopeful that the distraction might shut Sho up. “You’re the one who spoils me an-anyway…” He trails off in a husky moan when Sho obediently sucks the head of his cock, then enveloping the entire organ in wet heat as Sho’s fingers tease Jun’s balls, then his perineum. “Gods, yes.” Jun only feels slightly irritation towards the prospect of being unable to hold Sho’s hair, and instead grips at the silk crepe fabric tightly.   
  
“So, my reward is you then?” Sho murmurs against the underside of Jun’s cock. “I get to do whatever I want with you?”   
  
Jun gasps at the sensation of slick tongue flicking against his balls, and searches his mind for an appropriate come-back – the feat is difficult, with Sho suddenly biting at his inner thigh and laving noisy kisses against his skin. “Y-you always do what-Ah-ever you want with me.” Jun rasps, chest heaving when Sho pushes his thighs up further, long fingers sliding to powerfully knead at his round cheeks, and spreading them. The teasing drives Jun more insane, and he throws his head back in an angered whine when Sho doesn’t proceed with anything else besides staring. It is as though Sho is waiting for Jun to egg him on, or to beg. “Take me already.”  
  
“Impatient, but I’ll give in just this once.”   
  
Jun’s guess is accurate with the begging, and a tiny part of Jun wants to roll his eyes at the sheer predictability of Sho. Unfortunately, he is silenced by the insertion of Sho’s tongue into him, the flexible muscle teasing Jun’s rim and slipping in and out of Jun in a motion that is awfully reminiscent of the sex they had the previous night.   
  
Sho’s tongue within Jun is slippery, warm and wet, leaving what Jun is certain, a mess around his entrance. The first time Sho did this to Jun, Jun had spent half of the initial time hiding his face beneath his arm because of how turned on he was at the filthy act. Now, Jun doesn’t care for his dignity anymore, not when it is Sho who is doing this to him, and dragging the soft chants of his name from Jun’s throat. Jun whines incomprehensibly when Sho softly nibbles at the rim – it is just so  _dirty_ ; Jun must still have some remnants of Sho’s come within him from last night, yet Sho seems to have no qualms about eating Jun out like a ravenous lover.   
  
And Jun has no issues voicing out how much he is loving what Sho is doing to him right now. His soft stream of ‘ah’s echo the filthy squelch of Sho rimming Jun; despite the cold autumn morning, Jun feels hot – hot and unfortunately, restrained, unable to bury his hands into Sho’s hair and order him to never stop, because that’s how good it feels.   
  
He nearly arches off the bed when Sho inserts the first link of his index finger into Jun’s hole, path lubricated by Sho’s saliva and whatever remnants of come from the previous night.  _Dirty,_  Jun think so himself, but gods, the act is too hot for Jun to want Sho to stop, especially when the intrusion burns ever so slightly.   
  
“Sho, please, please.” Jun whines loudly, legs aching from their bent position. He cannot even curl them around Sho’s head to draw him closer, leaving him in the utter mercy of Sho, who simply teases Jun until his entire body is vibrating from need, and a layer of sweat covers his skin.   
  
Meanwhile, Sho seems to be satisfied with drawing all these lustful sounds from Jun, pausing for a short moment to spread oil around Jun’s entrance and all over his own fingers. Some of the oil drip onto the cotton sheets, but neither of them are bothered by it, ignoring the mess completely as Sho skips the slow preparation in favour of a faster one. Thankfully, Jun is still slightly open, his muscles relaxing around the intrusive three fingers Sho inserts within him without any pain. His accompanying wanton moan acts like a chorus to the slick squelch of Sho’s thrusting, and unconsciously, Jun dizzily remembers that it is only morning.   
  
Sho is going to drive him to an early death, with the amount of pleasure Sho intends to drown Jun with.   
  
When Sho removes his fingers, Jun releases a strangled sound and pants heavily, tugging at his wrists hard. “I want you, Sho.” Jun manages to croak, eyes tracing the way Sho’s erect cock juts upwards, towards his entrance when Sho sits up, dark pink, and shiny with lubrication. Sho’s pupils are dilated, dark black as he licks his full lips – his jaw is a shiny mess of saliva, and Jun attains a sudden desire to add to the chaos, laving his tongue across Sho’s jaw, and biting Sho’s lips until they are red and swollen.   
  
Sho grants him the opportunity to do so, leaning forward slowly to share a ragged kiss, helping Jun to hook his legs around Sho’s waist as Sho’s erection rubs along the crack of Jun’s ass, and slipping into the relaxed entrance. Jun’s sphincter muscles sucks in Sho’s cock almost instinctively, clenching and unclenching around the hot organ in a desperate flutter for  _more._  Sho is big, always a tight stretch within Jun even after three fingers, but Jun  _loves_  it, and the feeling of fullness that makes him choke.   
  
“God, you’re so tight even after all that prep.” Sho husks as he presses their foreheads together, sinking in a slow, regular pace. The sonorous groan Sho releases as his balls press against Jun’s butt echoes loud in Jun’s light-headed mind, dissimilar to Jun’s own short mewls and wheezes of need. “Your body is so greedy for me. I can feel your walls clinging to me, as though it’s been waiting for me for so long.”   
  
He looks so handsome like this – Sho, looming above Jun like a possessive wolf, dominating, fierce and protective as he holds himself steady within Jun. This look of Sho, Jun realizes, is a look that only Jun can see, a private sight that is given to Jun and Jun only, ever since they’ve met, and since Jun’s 20th birthday. But even with the carnal desire they share for each other, Jun knows that their bond transcends mere lust and bodily want.   
  
Jun tightens his legs around Sho’s waist to pull him closer, and makes a complaining sound when the binds do not give. “I want to touch you.” Jun pants desperately, looking up at Sho pleading with his large eyes, tiny bits of tears catching at his long eyelashes. “Please let me touch you.”  
  
The begging should work in his favour, but Jun means what he says – he wants to touch Sho; he is desperate to touch Sho, and being unable to makes him undeniably sexually frustrated.  
  
“You are touching me, Jun. Or at least, I am touching you.” Sho growls, and begins to roll his hips into Jun’s pliant body. His movements are sharp and quick, each thrust of his erection grazing Jun’s prostate in ways that makes him want to cry in bliss. “Isn’t that enough?”   
  
It’s never enough, Jun thinks, as Sho keeps up the unrelenting pace. In and out of Jun, palms running down Jun’s shoulder to flick at Jun’s nipple and adding to the blaze within Jun. If Jun had the chance, if their circumstances were vastly different, Jun wants Sho forever, to hold him close every night and wake up to Sho’s handsome presence every morning. Even then, that might not be enough for Jun – days like these, when they have time for each other, but not of unlimited duration, all Jun wants is for Sho to consume him.  
  
“N-no.” Jun whimpers shakily, bucking down with Sho’s subsequent thrust and lurching at the sharpness of Sho’s entry. “Never enough. I want you forever. Forever a-and, ah, ever.” Jun mewls incoherently as he tugs at his bound hands.   
  
Something shifts in Sho’s eyes, a warm hunger that makes Jun’s heart ache in adoration as Sho grasps Jun’s chin, and tilts it up towards Sho’s waiting lips. Their frenetic pace of love-making settles into a slower, languid pace, and Jun melts into the bed when Sho cards his fingers through Jun’s hair, massaging the back of his head and his nape. The tender action is an unnecessary apology for restraining Jun’s hands, but Jun basks in Sho’s action nonetheless.   
  
“You have me.” Sho husks against Jun’s lips, then swallows a groan as his hips pump harder into Jun, hand slipping between their bodies to wrap around Jun’s leaking erection. “You’ll always have me, Jun.” Sho grunts, revelling in the sharp mewls and moans Jun makes as Sho begins to pump his erection erratically. Jun quakes at the speed of which his climax approaches him, legs tightening and body instinctively clenching around Sho.   
  
Sho’s orgasm catches Jun by surprise. The hot come spills into Jun as Sho’s hips tense, and Sho groans a mixture of curses and Jun’s name. His hand tightens around Jun’s erection involuntarily, but that small action, coupled with the sensation of Sho’s come within Jun is enough to send Jun spiralling in his own climax. His body jerks minutely as the shockwaves of ecstasy tides across him, and Jun only manages to remember to muffle his shout of Sho’s name into Sho’s salty skin, breathing heavily.   
  
Time comes to a miniscule stand still, and then Sho relaxes, grunting as he falls next to Jun, head resting on Jun’s heaving chest. Jun’s heartbeat thumps like a hummingbird beneath Sho’s ear, and their bodies are equally as flushed and sweaty as they try to regain their breath.   
  
Before Jun’s arms can even start to ache, Sho is up, undoing the obi to free Jun’s hands and gently massaging his wrists. Jun merely hums, burying his face into the pillows as the sweat cools on his body. “Cold.” Jun murmurs to himself, and tucks his arms into his chest when Sho releases them. His ankles blindly search for the cotton blanket, catching an edge and lazily dragging it over his feet, but Sho interrupts its path, smoothing it over Jun’s thighs. He hugs Jun with his warm body before Jun complains, sneaking a kiss.   
  
“You’re sticky.” Jun grimaced, but noses the underside of Sho’s jaw anyway. “You need a bath.”  
  
“We’re both sticky and in need of a bath.” Sho stresses, wrapping his arms around Jun to pull him close. “Gods, I adore you so much.”  
  
The declaration has Jun humming in contentment, smiling himself silly as Jun presses a kiss to Sho’s lips. His hands rest on Sho’s bare chest, pleased that he can finally touch Sho properly. “I knew that.” He teases. “You didn’t have to tell me, you know.”   
  
“I know. I just wanted to say it.” Sho doesn’t say anything else, simply pulling Jun closer and hugging Jun as though Jun is his safety blanket. The embrace is just a touch shy from suffocating, but Jun sees no need to complain, letting Sho do what he wants.   
  
“I love you too, silly.” Jun whispers a few moments later. Sho’s skin is warm, and if Jun curls slightly, he can rest his ear on Sho’s shoulder, and feel the thrum of Sho’s heartbeat in his ear. The futon is soft and welcoming, but Jun knows they cannot stay there for too long. “Shall we have that bath, soon? Before everything gets horribly sticky and dry?”   
  
Sho lets out a chuckle, and Jun feels the nod, rather than sees it. “Of course.”   
  
Neither of them move.  
  
[FIN]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Explanatory Notes (In order of appearance):
> 
> Ofuro: Japanese bath, short and steep sided for users to relax and warm themselves.

**Author's Note:**

> Explanatory Notes (In order of appearance):  
> Yoshiwara: The red-light district of Edo-japan. Presently, it would have been the area near the North of Asakusa, included in the Taito-ku.  
> Oiran: Equivalent of courtesans, and considered a prostitute, but they were mainly very high-end ‘entertainer’ of sorts, popular even outside of Yoshiwara. They had to be educated in many cultural things, including music, calligraphy, tea, ikebana, etc. Basically entertainers that can also participate in prostitution.  
> Tayu: Highest rank that an oiran can attain. Their rank make them extremely expensive, and they have the power to refuse clients if necessary.  
> Bocchan: The way one addresses the son of a young lord/master.  
> Haori: A kimono-like jacket that you wear over the kimono itself.  
> Hadajuban: The first undergarment that you wear beneath the kimono, made of cotton to prevent direct contact of skin to silk.  
> Nagajuban: The second layer of undergarment/garment that will show slightly at the collar. Can be more elaborate, based on the style or kimono type.  
> Datejime: It’s a wider sash that is used to tie the nagajuban/outer kimono in place, before the obi.  
> Obi: The fancier looking sash, usually made of crepe silk, 4m long. In men’s kimono, the obi is narrow (~10cm), but for women/courtesans, the obi is wide and used for decorative purposes, tied above the datejime.  
> Fundoshi: Traditonal male underwear made from a length of cotton.  
> Uchikake: Highly formal and elaborate kimono that is heavily brocaded and worm beneath outside the kimono and obi.  
> Amaterasu: The goddess of the sun/universe according to Shinto religion, and according to mythology, the imperial line of Japan descended from Amaterasu.  
> Bafuku: Refers to feudal/shogun government.


End file.
